The Law of Attraction

William Duffin aka Sir William. Teaches about The Law of Attraction.

Powerful Eric: Hi, this is powerful Eric. If you think more people should hear what we’re talking about here on Porn Talk and you liked the show. If you could please rate and review us on iTunes or your favorite podcast app. By rating and reviewing the show, more people will hear about the show. It really does make a difference, so please take just a minute and rate and review the show on iTunes or your favorite podcast app.  Remember to subscribe too!

Intro: Welcome to Porn Talk with powerful Eric. End the porn habit, reclaim your power. Eric has been in 12-step programs for almost 20 years, with little success. Then one day he stumbled on the science of mindfulness to combat addictions. Powerless Eric died, and powerful Eric was born. Learn from Eric’s mistakes and get empowered now. Let’s join powerful Eric.

Powerful Eric: Welcome to Porn Talk, the purpose of this show is to help you end the porn habit and reclaim your power. But it’s not just about breaking addictions, it’s about breaking belief systems because we are bound by self-imposed and societal chains. So, break those chains, get empowered now, and I have back my good friend William Duffin. He is a spiritualist and minister at Circle of Light Spiritualist Church, he is a teacher and, welcome back, Sir William.

 

William: Thank you Eric.

 

Powerful Eric: And as many of you may know from the other podcast, I like to call him Sir William. William would have you been up to since the last show?

William: Well, most recently I taught a class. Funny how it worked out, I am teaching the same class twice in one day. The law of attraction, and specifically, what’s the problem with the law of attraction?

Powerful Eric: Well, what is the law of attraction?

William: Law of attraction is a universal law, one of which, one of many universal laws and Law of attraction at its very essence says, “like attracts like”, you know, the old adage of birds of a feather flock together, we attract what we think about, every day, all the time.

Powerful Eric: So, what would be an example of the law of attraction?

William: Well, from my life, when I bought the car that I have now. Well in general, you know, it’s basically just, whenever you achieve a goal, whenever you attain something you’ve been visualizing, you’re using the law of attraction, right? So, specifically like when I bought the car I have now, my old Saturn had 220,000 miles on it, you know, and I got honest that, you know what, I live out in the country, I drive a lot. So, I needed a car that gets good gas mileage. And I like driving a stick shift, it’s just the way I am, I like it. So, I wanted a car. Two of my main priorities were, it gets good gas mileage and it’s fun to drive, preferably a stick shift. And as far as I know, there was no, at the time, no hybrid cars were made, they all have automatics, and some had manual transmissions. While I was looking around on Craig’s list, and I knew they had the criteria on the margin there. So, I had like, I think I hit like a certain MPG and standard and while there is a hybrid Honda called the CRZ, it was made of the stick shift, they made it for three or four years.

 

Powerful Eric: That’s awesome. So–

 

William: Then I ended up finding one at a local small dealer.

 

Powerful Eric: Great. So, that’s an example of the law of attraction and action.

 

William: Well, and I should fill in the blank there, I visualized it a lot. I didn’t just sit down and do this all in five minutes. I had to, you know, one of the important steps is getting honest. You know what? I have to be honest, I drive a lot. So, in order to maximize my dollars, I needed like this kind of mileage. So, like I want to emphasize an important step and that was being honest about my real needs, but I was able to get what I need and what I want.

 

Powerful Eric: Okay. So, a lot of the people listening to the program, what they want is to end the porn habit. And as many of you know, for a couple of decades I tried to break the habit using 12-step systems and one of the things you do is you count how many days that you’re not doing the thing. And all the meetings, we go around, we’ll say how many days we’ve been sober and then we describe usually like, the worst behavior you’ve done. That was how every meeting would start. How is the law of attraction in those?

 

William: Ooh, that’s a great example because I understand the therapeutic value of venting and telling your truth. Like, you know, I did this thing and I feel bad about it and there’s a value in forgiveness of the self and stuff like that.

 

Powerful Eric: Sure.

 

William: But, as far as the way the mind works in law of attraction, that’s horrible. Because you’re putting your attention on what you don’t want. You’re always obsessing or at least, obsessing is a too strong a word, but you’re always putting your attention and often obsessing about what, like, “I’m not going to look at porn. I’m not going to look at porn. I’m not going to look at porn.”. Psychology 101, little clue for you, the subconscious mind is not recognizing that. So, you say, “I don’t want to look at porn”, in your subconscious mind you’re hearing, “I look at porn”.

 

Powerful Eric: So, the subconscious mind will not hear the negative. So, when I say, “I don’t want to do something”, it hears “you want to do something”. So, I don’t want to watch porn, so, your subconscious mind just hears, “I want to watch porn”, because it doesn’t understand a negative.

 

William: Correct. That right there should be enough to tell you that’s why the success of a 12-step program is like, 12% or something.

 

Powerful Eric: It’s 10% max on very unusual, 20%. So, counting the number of days that you’re not doing something, the subconscious mind is hearing what?

 

William: If I say I have been avoiding porn for 12 days, I’m still visualizing porn, right? If you say, “I’ve been healthy for 12 days”, you know, if you stated porn in the sentence or acting out or whatever kind of terms you use, you know, if I say, “I have been clean and sober for 12 days, I have been healthy for 12 days, I have been clearing my mind for 12 days.”,  so, you can still use the 12th-step structure and I see the value in that. But, it would make it hugely more successful if you simply stated it in positive words.

 

Powerful Eric: Right. I did 90 meetings in 90 days and I was obsessively focused on not doing the thing for 90 days. And, I totally hear what you’re talking about. It’s a negative affirmation, I haven’t done the thing.

 

William: Right.

 

Powerful Eric: Well, since our last show that we talked together, we have our little mascot, for those of you that are on the video, you can see this. On audio, obviously you can’t, the show has a mascot. How would you describe the mascot?

 

William: A one-eyed walking wiener.

 

Powerful Eric: Yes, one-eyed walking wiener, he has arms, he’s carrying a smartphone, he’s got a big red eye. He’s obsessively looking at his smartphone, and I’ve asked viewers to submit names. I understand there was a technical problem, I won’t get into on why we don’t have of those names. What is– can you think of one of the names that you submitted?

 

William: It was something like that one-eyed walking wiener, it was kind of a long list, more than one word.

 

Powerful Eric: Yeah. The name that I thought was just something simple like, Dick. Because really, then the slogan can be, “don’t be a dick”.

William: Don’t be like Dick.

 

Powerful Eric: Yeah, or don’t be like Dick. But like I said before, we had him up there in-just, but really, he is got a smart phone and he’s addicted to his smart phone. This program isn’t just about breaking addiction to porn. It’s about breaking belief systems, it’s about becoming enlightened about reality. And even if you’re not addicted to porn, are you addicted to your phone? What do you think about that?

 

William: I think it’s great.

 

Powerful Eric: About the phone addiction.

 

William: Oh, about the phone. Well, I think it’s a real thing.

 

Powerful Eric: It is.

 

William: Obviously, you know.

 

Powerful Eric: My wife and I, we were at the park the other day and it was a beautiful day. I’m not exaggerating, just how everyone had their face in the phone and I was like, “oh my gosh, this is like worse than I thought”, but, I’ve come to find out they were having a Pokémon event, so, everyone was going around finding their Pokémon’s. And I guess that’s is a good thing that, that game is getting people out of the house and, but it’s just like, “oh my gosh, really? It’s just gorgeous day. We’re all out at the park and everyone have their head down looking at their phones”.

 

William: On the positive side, they’re outside, but, it would be even more positive if they don’t have their phone out.

Powerful Eric: Yeah. But anyway, back to the law of attraction. We were talking about kind of the negative things of the law of attraction, you know? Well, how would someone use the law of attraction to break an addiction to porn? Or compulsive sex?

 

William: Okay. The most simple answer is, focus on what you do. And everything else, stems from that. Can I tell you just a little bit about the law of attraction to begin with?

 

Powerful Eric: Please.

 

William: Do you know the first mention that we know of, of the law of attraction is in 1906? Elizabeth Towne wrote in the life power and how to use it, quote, ” man is a magnet, every line dot in detail of his experiences, come by his own attraction.”. She used the word attraction. I think that’s stupendous. You know, that was over a hundred years ago.

 

Powerful Eric: Yeah.

William: And a lot of you may have seen the movie the Secret, you know. I know a lot of my friends and the new age community have.

 

Powerful Eric: Can you tell them a little bit what is Secret.

 

William: Okay, the Secret is movie, came out, I don’t know, 15 years ago probably.

 

Powerful Eric: Docudrama.

 

William: Docudrama type thing. And they present the law of attraction. But since then I’ve seen two problems. One is a problem with a movie and the second is a problem with the way that people see the movie.

 

Powerful Eric: Which problem with the movie?

 

William: Well, the problem with the movie is, they don’t emphasize enough the steps between the visualization and the creation.

 

Powerful Eric: So, overly simplified.

 

William: It is a little oversimplified that, if I can just, there’s this idea that the secret promoted, and a lot of other people promote this idea that, if I can just get my thoughts straight, I’ll create everything I want, like magic. You know what? In a certain sense, that is true, but then what they don’t explain is that first part of getting your thoughts straight. What does that really mean? It doesn’t just mean I can make a vision board. A Vision Board doesn’t mean like put pictures of what you want on a poster board or something and you basically, you give it attention. You visualize like the car, I’m going to put a picture of the car that I desire, my new Tesla, and what’s it going to be like? What’s it going to smell like, feel like, what’s it going to drive like how’s it going to feeI when I drive it? How am I going to feel when other people see me in the car? And things like that. So, you want to visualize the whole thing. And that’s all very helpful. But, if you’re doing that and you’re only engaging the conscious mind, you’re really only engaging in about 20% of your whole mind, and then that percentage varies upon what book you read or the author of a book. It’s like from 10 to 20%, is actually in your conscious brain. So, how do I engage the subconscious mind? Well, that’s really the $64,000 pyramid question as they say. For me, one of the easiest answers is meditation.

 

Powerful Eric: Otherwise, another word, an umbrella term would be mindfulness because–

 

William: Yeah, that’s exactly what the next thing I was going to say. Specifically, mindfulness meditation. Because, when I first learned to meditate, I was taught, I mean, I had meditated before and not really not know it was meditation. But then I went, and actually took meditation classes, and they taught me to meditate. They said you meditate on a certain quality or characteristic like, I’m going to meditate for more patience or understanding, or compassion. And, I’ll just tell you, so, I was doing that, and I did that for, I don’t know, months, maybe even a year. Probably seven months and I was not getting the results I wanted. I realized that I would meditate on patience, how to create patience in myself and that will bring up two of other things I needed to work on. So, months of meditating on these things brought up like this laundry list of character flaws, all that I needed to change about myself. And, one day I sat down to meditate and remember, this is outside. I sat down to meditate, and I had this structured meditation, i had a routine. So, I sat down, do my routine and I was getting centered and I thought, “you know what? This is not working. I keep getting this like laundry list of things to change. I’m not getting what I want, so I’m not sure what I’m going to meditate on today. I’m just going to see what happens.”. And as at the very beginning, as I entered the meditation, as I just relaxed and got centered, this voice, my higher self, whatever, said, “you know, from physics, the light and dark can’t be in the same place at the same time. So, don’t worry about plucking on every little piece of dark. Just fill yourself with light.”. That helped me immensely.

 

Powerful Eric: So, what you’re talking about there, how can– what is something that you could suggest for the listening audience to do? Something real basic, simple.

 

William: So, that ended up changing the way I meditate, instead of like trying to focus on something, it was more of the Buddhist way of meditation of release and release and release and release. And then, next, you release some more, you know. So, you just keep releasing the things that aren’t really you.

 

Powerful Eric: But I mean, what’s a specific example that you could tell somebody that’s listening right now, on how to meditate? Like the candle thing or…

 

William: Oh, okay. So, the candle exercise is a good one because it helps you be the director of your own intention.

 

Powerful Eric: Can you tell them about the exercise?

 

William: Okay, so, you’re going to have a candle at about arm’s length away, at about eye level and yes, the candles lit. I was telling somebody this one time and they said, “should I light the candle?” Yeah. Set up the candle flame, at about arm’s length away, at about eye level, you don’t want to be strained, you know. When you first do this, have a pen and paper, pencil, whatever, and really no strict rules about it. Let’s say you start with five minutes, set a timer for five minutes, fix your attention on that flame, and every time you think of something other than that flame, make a mark. And in five minutes you might have 500 marks, just depends on how quick your attention moves, but you just, when something distracts you, you release what it is, like the distraction, just release it. And I say something like, if that’s really important, it will come back to you later.

 

Powerful Eric: Right.

 

William: You know, that’s it. Instead of saying like, “get out of my house”, say, “if this is important, it’ll come back to me later”, and trust, believe me, it will, trust your mind, your subconscious mind. And then, you know, put your attention back on the flame, release or redirect yourself, release and redirect yourself. And then, after about a month or maybe even, it takes two to four weeks, quit using the piece of paper because that’d become a distraction. As you get more and more centered. And then, increase the time to 10 minutes after again, like after maybe a month or so. And then after two months or maybe three months, quit using the timer, you won’t need it, you have a very good feel for that 10-minute window. Do that every day for a year and it’ll change your life. It will change the way you think.

 

Powerful Eric: I actually did this, William had suggested, I’m not sure if this was one of your classes or you just told me about it, but William told me about this exercise. I did this in the basement here for almost a year. And it’s challenging at first because just to stay focused on that candle, once you do it after a while, you get into this really relaxed state. And, I found it very helpful.

 

William: He just suggesting it. I’ve done it so much. I just, you suggesting it made me breathe. I didn’t even, it was like a conditioned response. Yeah.

Powerful Eric: So, that is an example of meditation. And let’s talk about, this show isn’t just about breaking addictions. It’s about creating a great life. How can we use the law of attraction, not just to break the addiction, but to create the life that we’re excited about? How can we use the law of attraction?

 

William: You know what? You just did a beautiful seg-way to the next major point of my class, and that is the emotions. In the Secret, they talk about engaging your emotions. You want to– So, let’s say you’re visualizing the car again, I’m in the car, I am engaging my senses in my visualization, what it smells like, what it sounds like, what it feels like, what it looks like, and all that stuff. You have to feel good about the experience, and so, if you’re honest, if you have worked on this mindfulness aspect, and you’re able to be really honest, one of the examples that I gave– I find in my research, was a woman realized as she was trying to reduce her weight, that while the blocks, because you think you would think that reducing my weight, I would have nothing but positive outcomes. That my friends say, “oh gosh, Jane, you look great today, Blah Blah Blah, have you lost weight? blah, blah, blah”, you know, all those types of things.

 

Powerful Eric: Yeah.

 

William: She said one of her fears was envy.

 

Powerful Eric: Wow. Now that would be a big stumbling block.

 

William: Dude, I know, it’s like that light bulb goes off, you know, and she said she had to get really honest about her feelings attached to what other people think.

 

Powerful Eric: You know what’s funny about that? I’ve recently, well over the past year, lost 40 pounds on purpose and I’ve used the law of attraction and visualization, all those things. There was one person I was thinking about, a friend of mine who’s very overweight and I actually did have that thought. It came to my mind that, “oh, I’m slimming down. I wonder how he’s going to feel about that. I don’t want to make him feel bad”, it was just a fleeting thought that it did come through my mind.

William: Can I tell you one of the tools I use for getting off of myself?

 

Powerful Eric: Please.

 

William: The four agreements.

 

Powerful Eric: Okay. I know the book.

 

William: Okay. So, a lot of people, again, a lot of my new age friends know the four agreements, have read the book or at least have studied the actual agreements. I’ll tell you what they are. Agreement number, this is from Ruiz was his first name, Don Miguel Ruiz, I think his name. So, the four agreements, one, be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use The power of your word and the direction of truth and love.

Powerful Eric: Wow.

William: I know. Just imagine, just doing that one thing.

Powerful Eric: Yeah. You know, it’s been years since I read that book. Man, those are powerful.

William: They are, and he–what’s the word I’m looking for? He gives credit to the TOLTEC wisdom.

 

Powerful Eric: Can you read those again for us?

 

William: One, be impeccable with your word. This is just number one. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

Powerful Eric: All that under just number one?

 

William: That is number one.

 

Powerful Eric: Oh my gosh. Wow.

 

William: Okay. Number two, don’t take anything personally. Nothing happens because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

Powerful Eric: Wow.

 

William: Now, so, the converse of that is also true, in that we project our crap on other people. It’s just a reality, you know, it’s– you can frame this in a lot of different ways, like in Psychology 101, it’s your basic defense mechanisms. Okay. Three, don’t make assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life. I would say that about all, each of them.

Powerful Eric: Yeah. I mean, I’m thinking about the porn addiction stuff and being truthful and honest. Oh my gosh, you apply this to a porn addiction or sex addiction, man, cured.

 

William: Yeah. And what’s amazing is– and again it’s been said many different ways and in many different cultures and philosophies is, the layers that you find, you know. Okay, I’m just going to do agreement number one. My focus for the next 365 days is I’m going to be impeccable with my word and then you quickly realize how much you bullshit yourself. You quickly realize that, wait a minute, that’s not the whole truth.

Powerful Eric: That’s awesome. I’m going to get back out that book, that book is, I was amazing when I read it and need to apply it again.

 

William: Number four.

 

Powerful Eric: Okay.

 

William: Another one. Always do your best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment. It’ll be different when you’re healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best. You will– by that you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

 

Powerful Eric: Fantastic.

 

William: Another point that I bring up in my class, if you don’t mind me just continuing. When we talk about the law of attraction and karma, it’s often presented as if we are being judged all the time as good and bad. Like, karma is like heaven and hell. Like, there’s this divine punishment or reward system. I don’t know how to say this other than saying it’s just simply not true. Okay? By the way I understand the universe, and what I’ve learned in my experiences, it’s not true. And my full truth is, I was raised Catholic. All right? So, I was raised with the “you have to destinations, heaven or hell”.

 

Powerful Eric: Yeah, me too.

 

William: You got to be good. Try this on.

 

Powerful Eric: Okay.

 

William: There is no judge. One common misunderstanding is the implication, there is some force keeping tabs on us, judging us and then delivering us our experiences as either some sort of punishment or reward. I do believe there’s some sort of force that transcends our physical reality. Something that we will never have the full capacity to understand. But, I fully believe this entity is nothing but pure love, devoid of any sort of judgment. No matter what we do, it only sees our true nature, our perfection. Judgment is purely the purview of humans.

Powerful Eric: God knows I judge myself.

 

William: Right. And that’s why, one thing that led me to this, is authors like Marianne Williamson and Caroline Mace, and I think about them, I get emotional because, they’re to me, they are the two of the truly wise people that are still alive. Carolyn Mace, is MYSS, she wrote one of my favorite books called Anatomy of the Spirit and Marianne Williamson, who’s wrote a ton of books, she focuses a lot on like prayer and, I forgot what was, what was her big? Course in miracles, I think is her thing. But, the word that’s implied by this paragraph is not said, is forgiveness. Now, I’m going to tell you right now, from readings I have, from my own experiences, my own insight meditation, so on, and even more palpable readings I do for other people, is the big hang-up of humanity is not being able to forgive ourselves.

 

Powerful Eric: Amen to that.

 

William: I fully believe this force is set up to work for us, not against us. And as much as is able to support us, it cannot defy our vibration. It reminds me of what a Deborah used to say, a teacher we have in common named Deborah said, many times my spirit guides have dragged me kicking and screaming to my greater good. Like, but that’s not really true because your spirit guides can’t make you do something. It’s funny vision, but your spirit guides can’t make you do something and, God or whatever the universe is made up of cannot defy your will.

 

Powerful Eric: And for those that are not familiar with the term so much as you could just say, angels in place of that right word.

 

William: Okay. It’s delivers us experiences based on what are putting out there. It has no choice. To me, the universe, the best analogy I can find on earth is like a computer that it only gives back what you put into it.

 

Powerful Eric: And that’s what we’re talking about is the law of attraction.

 

William: Right.

Powerful Eric: What is this? There was a story you said in one of your classes, about Socrates and the story–what’s, tell them the story, that story.

 

William: One day a man rushed up the Socrates saying, “I have some news to tell you”. Socrates put up his hand to stop the excited man, “First let me ask three questions”. Okay, so the man, “is the news you’re about to tell me something you personally know to be true?”, “Well, no”, replied the man, “I heard it from a good source though”. “Let’s go to the second question”, Socrates said, “is the news you want to tell me, about someone you know personally?”, “Well, not really, but I think you know the person”. “I see”, said Socrates. “Let me ask you my final question. Is this news positive or negative?”, “Well, it’s negative.”. “I see”, said Socrates, “you want to tell me some news that you don’t know personally may be true about someone you don’t know at all, that is negative?”. “Well, when you say it like that, it sounds kind of bad.”. “I think I’ll pass”, Socrates said.

 

Powerful Eric: I love that story for some reason.

 

William: Because this story is put in its class to help illustrate, imagine Socrates and the man are really two parts of you.

 

Powerful Eric: Right.

 

William:  And do you believe your stories you tell yourself? You know, when I gave that little talk yesterday, I gave the example of my personal life of by today’s standards, I was raised, what would today be considered a terribly abusive home. Okay. Terribly abusive.

 

Powerful Eric: Yeah.

 

William: Like, you know, cops would have been called. And so, I grew up basically thinking there was something wrong with me. I thought, you know, I was stupid, I couldn’t do anything right, things like that.

 

Powerful Eric: Self-deprecating thoughts.

 

William: Self-deprecating. And so, I am 51, so the past, you know, about 32 years had been spent departing and reprogramming that. Changing the input.

 

Powerful Eric: Yeah.

 

William: So, let’s bring that back to the law of attraction. Joe Vitale, who’s one of the speakers in the Secret calls that, the law of unconscious counter intentions. So, that comes back to the idea of what the subconscious and the conscious mind. So, like I have my vision board, or I have, you know, what I don’t want. And, I focus, focus, focus on it, but I’m only engaging the conscious mind. I’m not engaging in the other like 70%. So, that’s when sabotage comes up.

 

Powerful Eric: Right.

 

William: I sabotage myself and it doesn’t take internal Sherlock Holmes, you know, you have to be like a great investigator to look back and say, “oh my gosh, I see now how I set myself up for failure”.

 

Powerful Eric: Yeah.

 

William: Easily, you know?

 

Powerful Eric: Absolutely.

William: It makes sense?

 

Powerful Eric: It does. William, thank you so much for being here again and enlightening us and myself about the law of attraction and action. William, how can listeners get a hold of you?

William: Oh, they can call or text my phone number (314) 403-4744. They can find me on Facebook as a Happy Mediumwill. That’s the first name, Happy, last name, Mediumwill. On my website, mediumwilll.com.

Powerful Eric: Awesome. Well thanks again for being here. Thanks for listening to Porn Talk. Again, the purpose of the show is not just about breaking addictions, it’s about breaking belief systems, and I like to always close with a quote from Zig Ziglar who says, “you are designed for accomplishment. You are engineered for success, and you are endowed with the seeds of greatness”. Stay powerful, friends. Goodbye.

 

Outro: Thanks for listening. If you’re struggling with porn or sex addiction, then contact eric@powerfuleric.com or call (314) 717-0377 for a free, no obligation consultation. You are powerful.

Listen to this episode: https://www.spreaker.com/user/10565137/pt-season-1-ep-6-with-william

 

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