How I Cured My Porn Addiction (and you can to)

Powerful Eric was addicted to porn for decades.

Announcer: Welcome to Porn Talk with Powerful Eric. End the porn habit. Reclaim your power. Eric has been in twelve step programs for almost twenty years with little success. Then one day he stumbled on the science on mindfulness to combat addictions. Powerless Eric died and Powerful Eric was born. Learn from Eric’s mistakes and get empowered now. Let’s join Powerful Eric.

Powerful Eric: Hello, powerful people. Welcome to Porn Talk. This is Powerful Eric and I’m with William Duffin aka Happy Medium Will. The purpose of this show is to help you end the porn habit and reclaim your power. It’s not just about breaking addictions, it’s about breaking belief systems. We are bound by self-imposed and societal chains. Break the chains. Get empowered now. Welcome, Sir William.

Sir William: Thanks, Eric. I’m happy to be here.

Powerful Eric: William and I have known each other for a long time. We’re great friends, and I like to call him Sir William of Duffin. My son even, he’s turning four. I’m sorry, he just turned four.

Sir William: Yeah.

Powerful Eric: And he even calls William Sir William. It’s funny. But Sir William, what are you a knight of?

Sir William: What am I a knight of? Well, I guess you could say I’m a knight of metaphysics. I have practiced and taught concentration mindfulness for over twenty years. I even teach class called The Will to Change is the Power to Heal, which teaches that you can change your thoughts and heal your own body. So I have to ask you, in turn, how do you get away with calling yourself Powerful Eric?

Powerful Eric: Well, before I answer that question I gotta state that a lot of people online don’t like that I call myself Powerful Eric. I get a lot of negative social media comments like, you know, “You’re just an average guy. You’re not even average. You’re not powerful.” And really negative comments. People are generally angry about me calling myself powerful. I thought to myself, what if I called myself Pitiful Eric?

Sir William: Mm-hmm (affirmative)-

Powerful Eric: Or Powerless Eric. I bet you I would have zero-

Sir William: Problems?

Powerful Eric: … negative feedback. But to answer … going back to answer what your question was, there’s a story behind why I call myself Powerful Eric. I had problems with pornography since I was very little, but I’m gonna start much later in life; about when I had got back to see a friend of mine who had cancer. She was in remission. I was traveling at the time. Her name is Heather. I had been gone traveling for my job and when I got back I made a lunch date with her to see how she was doing.

Powerful Eric: The day that we were supposed to meet, I was acting out with pornography all morning and I lost track of time. So I called her and I said, “Hey, Heather. I’m sorry, something came up. I’m really sorry. Can we reschedule?” She said, “Well, sure.” But I never called her back to reschedule. Soon after that I ran into a mutual friend. The friend said, “We tried to get ahold of you. Heather died.” I was like, “What are you talking about? I just talked to her.” She’s like, “Yeah, she died.”

Powerful Eric: I chose to act out to pornography rather than being with my dying friend. There was a lot of big red flags along the way that said, “Eric, you have a problem.” But this was one that was like, I’m never gonna see my friend again because I was acting out to porn.

Sir William: Well, can you … would you mind telling me a little bit about what led up to that?

Powerful Eric: Leading up to that? I have spent countless hours acting out with pornography. I had wasted days. I call it burning days.

Sir William: Mm-hmm (affirmative)-

Powerful Eric: I have burned days, weeks, months, years acting out with pornography. I have recorded in a journal a day that I had woke up, started out acting out to pornography, did not eat, and literally acted out all day long. The kicker was that it was an absolutely beautiful day. It was a gorgeous summer day, and I’ll never get that time back.

Powerful Eric: You know, what could I have done with the time and the money? When I was acting out, I would feel almost catatonic when it’s going on. When I burn a day, I would feel lifeless and dead and worthless. Burning days feels like a dear friend gave me a priceless gift and I just flushed it down the toilet.

Powerful Eric: Then there’s the money. If I had invested the money I wasted on porn, who knows what fortune I would have today.

Sir William: What’s in-between there? What I’m really getting at is what led you to where you are now? Between the wake up call of your friend dying and you missing out on big chunks of your life. So how did you get from there to now wanting to help other people?

Powerful Eric: One day I woke up in a padded room.

Sir William: Literally?

Powerful Eric: Yeah, I was … I woke up kind of dazed for a minute. Like, where am I? I’m like, “I’m in a mental ward’s padded room.”

Sir William: Mm-hmm (affirmative)-

Powerful Eric: I was in there voluntarily. That’s another story. So they needed the room and a nurse came rushing in. She said, “We got a live one! You gotta get out.” I wish I could say that I was speaking metaphorically, but I am not. I was literally in the mental ward’s padded room. I felt completely and totally hopeless and worthless. The psychiatrist said that, “You will be on heavy antipsychotic drugs the rest of your life.”

Sir William: Wow.

Powerful Eric: I felt numb. Like, “What the hell is happening?”

Sir William: Okay, so that was the nadir of your … very low point of your journey. How did you climb up out of that whole and end up here?

Powerful Eric: I saw a therapist. I was on some serious antipsychotics. I was on antidepressants, antianxiety drugs; I even was on a drug to help alcoholics stop drinking. I was not an alcoholic, but it helped mildly with the porn addiction. I had a spiritual cleansing done. I had a kind of exorcism done. I tried a new therapy called EMDR, the Eye Movement and Desensitization and Reprocessing. That was kind of helpful, actually, with some limited success. I saw a sex addiction specialist that I saw on Oprah.

Powerful Eric: So I did paid phone consultations with that specialist. He said that I needed to go to twelve step meetings for sex addiction. I told him, I said, “I will do anything you’re asking me, but I’m not gonna go and talk to a group of people. In front of a group of people and talk about how I masturbate to porn all the time.” He said, “I’m sorry to hear that, because I’ve never met anyone that’s been able to overcome an addiction to sex or porn on their own.”

Sir William: Really?

Powerful Eric: Yeah. So I went.

Sir William: Wow. Then how did you end up with this new program?

Powerful Eric: Unfortunately, I took the long, hard road to get there.

Sir William: Yeah.

Powerful Eric: I, unfortunately, listened to the specialist. He said I needed to go to twelve step meetings. So for the next twenty years I went to SCA, Sexual Compulsive Anonymous. Then I went to … that wasn’t working, so I went to SLAA. That’s Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous. That wasn’t working, so I went to SA, Sexaholics Anonymous. I was having some challenges with money, so I went to DA, Debtor’s Anonymous. I went to CoDA, Codependents Anonymous. I’m not an alcoholic, but I used AA meetings when I couldn’t be there … or my other meetings weren’t available. I went to Al-Anon. I did ninety meetings in ninety days. I had numerous sponsors.

Powerful Eric: I gotta say, you know, I’m forever indebted to those people and those programs, because they got me through some serious times; but I was still acting out with porn.

Sir William: What have you learned since then? What enables you to help others?

Powerful Eric: Well, one day, thanks to my friend and mentor, Craig Perra, I discovered how to use the science of mindfulness to break addictions. I tried it and it worked. No, it was not immediate. It actually was a lot of hard work.

Sir William: Right.

Powerful Eric: But I did finally stop acting out with porn. I still have challenges. In this mindfulness program, you do not label yourself. At twelve step meetings, you introduce yourself like this: Hi, my name is Eric. I’m a sexaholic. Then, you go on to describe one of your worst behaviors that you’ve done.

Powerful Eric: Then I was creating a screen login for the mindfulness program. For twenty years, I’d called myself a sexaholic or a sex addict, and various other disempowering labels.

Sir William: Mm-hmm (affirmative)-

Powerful Eric: When I was creating my screen login, I was kind of pissed off and excited.

Sir William: Right?

Powerful Eric: I was kind of excited too at the same time. I’m like, “You know what? I’ve been calling myself powerless for twenty years.” I put Powerful Eric as my screen login. In that moment, Powerless Eric died and Powerful Eric was born.

Sir William: So that was one of those moments of epiphany for you? An awakening.

Powerful Eric: Absolutely.

Sir William: Okay, well I appreciate you sharing your personal story. Convince me this is a problem that’s out there that a lot of people have.

Powerful Eric: A study that was done at the University of Montreal. They were gonna do a study on the effects of pornography, and of course you need a control group-

Sir William: Right.

Powerful Eric: … when you do that. They had to abandon the study. Why do you think they had to abandon the study?

Sir William: Because they couldn’t find any college students that weren’t already looking at porn?

Powerful Eric: That’s right. They couldn’t find any-

Sir William: Oh yeah, of course.

Powerful Eric: … that were not actively using porn. That’s just one stat. Another sad stat is the average age of someone viewing porn was, at the time, ten years old. Now there moving that back even further. That just makes me really sad, because you know … William, I don’t know about you-

Sir William: Right.

Powerful Eric: … but I think to myself, when I was a kid if I got ahold of a Playboy. Oh my gosh. I really thought I had something.

Sir William: Right.

Powerful Eric: But now these poor kids, really young kids, are getting exposed to hardcore porn.

Sir William: Because of the internet.

Powerful Eric: Because of the internet.

Sir William: Right.

Powerful Eric: We all carry … we’re actually carrying-

Sir William: Right.

Powerful Eric: … a library of porn around with us-

Sir William: Right.

Powerful Eric: … in our phones.

Sir William: Well, then that leads me to ask how can your program help people? Especially young people?

Powerful Eric: Well, we use the science of mindfulness. I mean, there’s a lot of tools that we use, but we use the science of mindfulness. In a nutshell, mindfulness is a large umbrella term. Under that umbrella you’ve got things like meditation, martial arts, focusing, being present. One of the new ones that I’m certified in now is tapping. It’s the emotional freedom technique. It’s were you tap on pressure points. Of course, you’re a pro on this topic.

Sir William: Well, I am. One thing I wanna say is that what you’re saying is kind of exciting because it sounds like we’re gonna be doing some more shows.

Powerful Eric: Oh, absolutely.

Sir William: Okay. Tapping and all those other things. So I’m looking forward to learning about these techniques. But that is true that I practice and teach
mindfulness. It has literally changed my life to be able to hold my attention in a present moment.

Powerful Eric: Like with meditating.

Sir William: Well sure, with meditating. I’m a minister and so I help people change their lives. I may not call it mindfulness in the … I may be helping somebody and not saying, “You’re gonna be practicing mindfulness.” But I say, “Hold your attention in the moment. Observe your thoughts. What is it you’re really doing. Where does your attention go?”

Sir William: I remember one time you and I were talking about this and ideas were formulating and I said, “Eric, I got it. Every moment’s a choice. Meditate or masturbate.”

Powerful Eric: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

Sir William: Then that makes me wanna ask, I mean, you have said a little bit about your experience and what brought you here, but what qualifies you to be the person to help me?

Powerful Eric: I, for years, had tried to fake it ’til I make it, you know? I would look myself in the mirror and say I like myself or I love myself or I’m learning to like myself, I’m learning to love myself. I never really believed it.

Sir William: Sure.

Powerful Eric: But one day I looked in the mirror and I could honestly say that I like myself. And I started to tear up, because for so many years I tried to fake it until I make it by saying those affirmations to myself. But for the first time in nearly all of my life, I looked myself in the eye and I said I like myself and I meant it.

Powerful Eric: So, to answer your question, is I have personally been there. If you go to a traditional route, most likely the person that’s helping you has not been in your shoes. I’ve been in your shoes and now I’m actually a paid employee of the mindful system. I’m also now a certified mindful habit coach. A mindful habit coach is specific for sex and porn addiction. Yes, we do all addictions, but that’s our specialty is sex and porn addiction.

Powerful Eric: I’m kind of like the hair club for men president. You know that he says … I don’t know if you remember those old commercials-

Sir William: Oh sure.

Powerful Eric: … he’d say, “I’m not only the president, I’m a member.” Or something like that. So, you know, I’ve used the program and I’m now a certified mindful habit coach. I know what does not work. I know what does not work. And I know what does work. To add on top of that, I’m certified as a emotional freedom technique coach as well; that’s EFT or the tapping. That’s what qualifies me to coach someone.

Sir William: Well, that kind of answers my next question that I had in mind, and that is: of all the things you could do, you chose this. Why is that? What is it you’re passionate about?

Powerful Eric: Well, I kind of feel like it chose me. Meaning that, you know, I didn’t wish to be addicted to pornography. What I’m passionate about is helping people. Because I know how devastating this addiction can be, or call it whatever you want. I know how it feels and I just wanna help people. That’s what I’m passionate about is helping people. My goal is now to positively impact and help one million sex and porn addicts to break the habit and create a great life for themselves and to make the world a better place to be.

Sir William: Wow, thank you. I appreciate that. Eric, what would you tell listeners who are struggling with addiction to porn or any other substance? Alcohol, drugs, overworking.

Powerful Eric: I would say this: that you can’t do it alone. You can’t do it alone. Ask for help.
< strong>Sir William: Really?

Powerful Eric: I do agree with the one guy that I saw on Oprah that said, you know, he’s never met anyone that was able to overcome this addiction on their own. So definitely, absolutely get help; whether it’s from your parents, from a teacher, from a minister, from a therapist, or a coach like myself. I do personal coaching for men that are addicted to porn.

Sir William: How do people get ahold of you?

Powerful Eric: They can reach me at powerfuleric.com.

Sir William: Well hey, speaking of which, I noticed on your website Powerful Eric there’s that little character, that little guy, your little mascot. What’s the deal with that?

Powerful Eric: Yeah, the mascot is basically a little … he’s a little-

Sir William: Phallic?

Powerful Eric: … wiener. He’s a little wiener with arms, holding a smart phone, and he’s got a big red eye. You could say he’s the one-eyed monster. We’d like you to submit, if you could, to name our mascot. Some of the names that I came up with was El Porno, The Porn Monster, of course The One-Eyed Monster.

Sir William: Mm-hmm (affirmative)-

Powerful Eric: It reminds me of a show, believe it or not, for kids. My son watches. It’s called Captain Underpants. His nemesis is Professor Poopy Pants.

Sir William: Yes, yes, I remember that.

Powerful Eric: We are definitely in the right place for potty humor here, but if you could help us name the mascot. If you could submit that online on my Facebook page at Powerful Eric Coaching, or on my website powerfuleric.com. Or you can email me at Eric@powerfuleric.com.

Powerful Eric: One thing about the mascot is we’re joking about this, but this is to show that everything now seems to be sexualized. I created a word, or coined a word: the pornification. It’s the pornification of the world. It’s the normalizing of the viewing of pornography. Because when I was a boy, that wasn’t a normal thing. It wasn’t accessible like it is now. It’s the pornification of the world.

Powerful Eric: The program is not just about quitting porn. It’s about B.E.A.R. It’s an acronym, B-E-A-R. It’s about becoming enlightened about reality. It’s about being mindful about your life, mindful about your thoughts.

Sir William: Excellent. Now as you’re describing your experience and the things you learned and the things you’re teaching … and it’s been true for me when I teach and practice mindfulness. It’s gonna affect a person’s life in a lot of other ways, other than just quitting porn.

Powerful Eric: Yeah, absolutely. It’s a lot more than porn. In fact, that is just the tip of the iceberg. We do a … a part of the program we track our thoughts. We call them self-deprecating thoughts or sexual thoughts. We want to minimize those as much as we can. And we find with most of the guys that really the problem isn’t so much the sexual thoughts as it is the self-deprecating thoughts. By self-deprecating, you know, I mean, “I’m a piece of shit. How the hell did I do that? I’m such a dipshit.” I gotta say the most common one is, “I’m a piece of shit.”

Sir William: Really?

Powerful Eric: Yeah. So yeah, it’s a lot more … the porn is just a symptom.

Sir William: Yes.

Powerful Eric: Whether it’s alcohol, drugs-

Sir William: Got it.

Powerful Eric: … porn. That’s just the symptom and that’s the challenge that I found with most of the programs that I was in. They were addressing the symptom. How many days did you not do the thing?
Sir William: Right.

Powerful Eric: Whereas in this mindful program we concentrate on adding in positive thing into your life. For example, instead of counting how many days you’re not whacking off to porn, we count how many days did you do a yoga pose in a row. Something like that. Yoga is mindfulness.

Sir William: Really?

Powerful Eric: Yeah.

Sir William: Interesting. Before we go, I want to make sure that I mention something I saw on your website is this audiobook. Well, the title that got me was Everything You Know About Sex and Porn Addiction is Wrong. I thought, well, that’s a pretty bold statement, because there’s a lot of information out there about sex and porn addiction.

Powerful Eric: Yeah, it’s Everything You Know About Sex and Porn Addiction is Wrong: the Twenty-One Myths About Sex and Porn Addiction. Basically, you can learn from me what took about twenty years or so, you can learn in about twenty minutes. It’s actually less than an hour. If you go to my website powerfuleric.com you can get it for free.

Sir William: Well, I really appreciate you having me here today. I’m happy to be a part of this new adventure.

Powerful Eric: Well, thanks for being here William. Can you tell listeners where they can find you online?

Sir William: Oh, I’m at mediumwill.com, I’m on Facebook as Happy Medium Will, and helping people focus and change their lives.

Powerful Eric: Fantastic. Thanks for listening to Porn Talk. Join us on our next episode when I interview Angela Skurtu, a certified sex therapist. You will love Angela. She is a lot of fun.

Powerful Eric: And I’ll close with Zig Ziglar, who says, “You are designed for accomplishment. You are engineered for success. You are endowed with the seeds of greatness.” Stay powerful, my friends.

Speaker 3: Thanks for listening. If you’re struggling with porn or sex addiction, then contact Eric at powerfuleric.com. Or call 314-717-0377 for a free no obligation consultation. You are powerful.

Listen to this episodeĀ https://www.spreaker.com/episode/16661991

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *