Kids on Porn.

Annonymous son addicted to porn.

Powerful Eric: Welcome to Porn Talk, Porn Talk is not just about breaking addictions it’s about breaking belief systems. A belief system that I’m looking to shatter today is that generally teenagers and older view porn. Well, actually much younger than that views porn. I have my guest today we’re going to call him Bruce. That’s not his real name we’re protecting his identity because we don’t want his son to get the repercussions of the show, because this is about his son viewing porn. Let’s just go right to it. Bruce, tell us what happened with your son in pornography.

Bruce: Okay. He has a smartphone, he is about 12, and I just one day said to myself to look through this phone. He had 20 some odd pages up on a web browser, most of them opened to porn. And then, so, I asked him about it. Of course, he at first denied it. And I showed him you know, I said something like, “so, If I look at your phone, I’m not going to see anything embarrassing, nothing on there that you don’t want me to see?” He answered and said, “no”. And, I said, well, go ahead and open up the browser. And he screamed, ” oh, yeah, alright”. And I had my finger over the screen about the open it up and show him. And he said, “yeah, I was looking at porn”. And I said, well, you know, this is wrong, you did it, you didn’t mean it, you knew it was wrong. And I went on to explain, not only is it wrong, just because the rules say it’s wrong, like my household rules, but also, it’s illegal. I said, if you got caught looking at porn, you know who will get in trouble? Not you, me, because I’m your guardian. And that seemed to affect him, then I also said, you know, this country has to be 18 to look at porn. So, when you’re 18, I guess I can’t say much about it. But until then, don’t do it. Well, then it was maybe a few months later the same thing happened again, basically, this time it was his phone. Of course, he’s grounded from his phone for a while, 3 or 4 months at least, it was quite a while. And then, so, long story short, I caught him yet again.

Powerful Eric: But he took, so, he took really no steps to even hide it. So, he had, you said he had 20 something browser pages open?

Bruce: That’s correct, and I think that was really just his ignorance. I think, I don’t think he had a clue that I would actually look at his phone, and probably didn’t technically know how to hide it very well. Okay, so, then it advanced, a few months later, and then it happened again. And that’s when he broke down crying and saying, “I can’t stop doing it”.

Powerful Eric: So, this is a 12 year old boy. Do you have any idea how long he had the phone?

Bruce: He had it for a few months, but I cannot answer if he has been looking at it, on other phones at other times. Because I wasn’t necessarily in charge of the other phones that he had, previous to this one right now.

Powerful Eric: Right. Where did the other phones come from?

Bruce: His mom.

Powerful Eric: I see. And just personal background. Bruce is divorced, so, his mom does some things that he’s not–

Bruce: And frankly, she will give her kids things like that and not have, it seems that she doesn’t know, she has no desire, no awareness about marketing, things like that. She just doesn’t do it.

Powerful Eric: Yeah. So, this is a 12 year old boy who, let’s say for, within a year he’s already says, he said, basically saying, he’s addicted to porn. He said, I can’t stop. Right? Those exact–

Bruce:  Yes, he was crying, he seemed sincere. Yeah, sometimes a kid, and I did this as a kid. I cried as it is because, it is that I got caught. He seemed sincere.

Powerful Eric: Yeah, I talked about this In one of my first shows, in that when I was a kid, and we are about the same age, when I was a kid, if I found a playboy or something like that, I really thought I had something, you know. And since then, the Playboy magazine no longer exists. I think it’s online now, but the magazine doesn’t even exist anymore. And it’s so soft now. I mean, now these young kids have access to hardcore porn. It just, it makes me sad.

Bruce: Did I tell you what my friend told me? I have a female friend who is about our age. And she has two sons that are grown, and she said, “one of the new trends among young people is that, they’ll have anal sex and not vaginal sex and, be able to say, well she’s still a virgin”. Because it was just anal. It’s just laughable to me, it’s just ridiculous, a ridiculous notion.

Powerful Eric: Wow. So, they want to have anal sex instead of regular sex to prevent getting pregnant?

Bruce: No, it’s just so, she can say she’s a virgin.

Powerful Eric: Oh!

Bruce: So, she says she’s a virgin.

Powerful Eric: Oh, wow.

Bruce: Yeah, I’m still a virgin, because they didn’t have vaginal sex. Yeah.

Powerful Eric: Wow.

Bruce: Yeah. And this is the point.

Powerful Eric: Right. Well, so, tell me what is the state of things right now with the phone and your son?

 Bruce: I monitor his phone, and as far as I can tell, he’s not accessing any porn.

Powerful Eric: So, how do you how do you monitor his phone?

Bruce: I use an app called “The Parents Century”, and just look at his phone, as he picks it up, and he knows I can look at it any given time

Powerful Eric: Yeah, and we’re not on here endorsing any particular product or anything like that one, one that I had used successfully was called fundamental. But I understand it may have some bad reviews, but I didn’t have any trouble with it. But anyway, you might check those out. And now, knowing what you know now. If you could go back in time, and hand him that phone, like, without any filter or anything on that, I mean, what would you think of a parent, knowing what you know, giving them, giving their child just a phone unfiltered?

Bruce: Unfiltered, without any access to the internet?

Powerful Eric: Yeah.

Bruce: It’s like handing him a back rub, it’s ridiculously irresponsible.

Powerful Eric: Yeah, I’m going to go a step further, and say, that it’s knowing what you know.

Bruce: Yeah.

Powerful Eric: That it’s child abuse. Who would take, let’s say, I had this book box of porn filled with all the hardcore DVDs, and magazines, pictures, and even names and phone numbers of people that you might want to hook up, and I just took that. But, within that book box though there was some good stuff too, you know, I don’t know. Good books, you know, so, I just gave you that person, that’s ridiculous.

Bruce: That makes complete sense, especially the age, he is my analogy about the drugs. Let’s say again, this 12 year old box of proper pharmaceuticals and street drugs, and he doesn’t know or doesn’t have the wisdom or maturity to decide what’s good for him. There you go, that’s very important.

Powerful Eric: Yeah, I really do. Now again, I just to state, knowing these facts that it’s one thing you when you don’t know. But when you know, and you give your son or your daughter a phone, unfiltered, you’re handing them the world’s largest library of pornography, pictures and not only that, it’s actually much worse than that. You kind of dropping them in the middle of a bad, the hood. Your kind of dropping them in to the hood, you know with predators, sexual predators and pornographers and dealers. It’s scary. But now you have, you do have him monitored. So, has there been any, anything that’s happened since he’s been monitored?

Bruce: No.

Powerful Eric: Okay, great. Now, one thing that I know from the business that I’m in here, is that some people will say, well, you know, my darling child would never view pornography. And let’s say that’s true, let’s say your darling child would never consider viewing porn. Well, we know that okay, maybe they won’t, but their friends are going to show it to them.

Bruce: Yeah, and that’s how my son found out about it, he told me–

Powerful Eric: Yeah, tell that story if you don’t mind.

Bruce: Oh, I can enlighten you. Well, the first time I kind of took part of the blame on myself for not, having been proactive and not doing it ahead of time and so on and so on. The second time it happened though, I laid it to him pretty good and say, “this is wrong, you can go to prison, you can go to jail. And so, that’s kind of how I went about it.

Powerful Eric: Can you tell us; can you tell that story?

Bruce: Oh, about the text? Oh, yeah, that’s it, in fact, that’s how I found out, that was the first time. There was a text on his phone, he told me he texts his friend and said, “he is to come over let’s eat”. And, his replied, saying, “don’t tell me these things”. And, you know,

it’s kind of like when, I had that moment of like looking at the phone like, is this what I think it is? And I’m like, what? And that’s when I looked at the web browser, and so, we had to talk about, also the appropriateness of things like that. And, remember, I talked to you about this, and I gave you the advice of, like, don’t just lay down and criticize and tell them this is wrong. Advise them, you know, tell them at your age, your hormones are developing, your body is changing, and, you know, frankly, masturbation is part of life. It’s going to happen especially at your age, but it’s your private activity. Don’t share it I mean, we laugh about it now, but now, but I mean, sometimes when I was that age, I would tell my friends,” hey, I just knocked one off”. You know?

Powerful Eric: Yeah, but everybody when we were kids didn’t have access to hardcore porn.

Bruce: Sure. And so, this has been an educational for me to say the least, you know, it has really helped me think about not just the porn part of it, but overall values and demo things, Eric, where you like, I’m sure the same experiences once you became aware of this problem, you see it everywhere. You see everything sexualized, and I’ve been reading articles about these children, what do you call it? They sell children and its basically slavery.

Powerful Eric: Sex trafficking.

Bruce: Yeah, sex trafficking, that’s it, porn rains, you know, have children. And I don’t mean like 17 year old, and 10 and 11 year old girls and boys being sold to very rich people in the United States, not Thailand, in the USA, you know, being sold and rented out to be like prostitutes.

Powerful Eric: Yeah.

Bruce: And, so, I had this thing going on in my brain, and I see things that, you know, like Instagram or models, apps, this has like, what I put into gratification apps, you know, and I understand the appeal of like Instagram and Pinterest. There is like, you have like two or three seconds, and you click along, you know, you’re looking at in depth. Anyway, you see the sexualization of these children, so now the Instagram, they become Instagram models, and they’re like 8 years old. So, like bikini photos of pre-adolescent girls.

Powerful Eric: Yeah.

Bruce: They are modelling, they’re in sexy poses. It’s not like it’s just the clothes ad for girls’ swimsuits.

Powerful Eric: Right.

Bruce: You know, they’re just standing with makeup, and like I said, sexy poses and these children’s parents are doing this. It’s not liked this girl on Instagram, who has real name up there is kidnapped. You know, that is her parents having her hair done, makeup and all this stuff, and sexualizing that 8 year old girl, and that is, it’s just devastating.

Powerful Eric: Yeah. It makes me really sad. The sex trafficking thing, I don’t think people realize what a huge–

 Bruce: Huge.

Powerful Eric: Thing this is, and it’s in every state in the United States, and this is, comes from St. Louis, Missouri, and we’re right in the middle of the United States. It’s a big thing right here because, you know, all the highways not come through here. But it’s everywhere and around the globe. And you need to protect your child from predators, and a way of doing that is putting some filters on your phone.

 Bruce: And actually, look at the phone. And that, yes, put a filter on it. They can’t ask for porn stuff like that, the obvious stuff, but look at your kids’ phone, look at who they’re texting. Make sure you know the names, and ask them about it, talk to them about it. Oh, I see you’re talking to Jane about such and such. How’s Jane doing? But what you’re really getting at is, who the heck is Jane? You know, who, are these actual kids you talking to? Or is this some kind of a scam? I mean, it is so many stories you’ve read, I’ve read, and people have seen about you know, the 14 year old girl is lowered to a hotel.

Powerful Eric: Yeah.

Bruce: I mean, I would hope and pray and I’m sure would think that my son has the sense not to go to a hotel by himself.

Powerful Eric: Yeah, but they’re very, through very tricky with on the ways you know I read about on how they lower them. One of the ways at least with the girls that I read is that they you know, they totally flatter them, and the person tells them that they’re in love with them, and that’s the big thing that oh, this person’s in love with me, and especially if they’re in a household where there is no father around, they are even easy more an easier prey.

Bruce: I watched this scene, or rather read about it, the other extreme of, if you say anything to anybody I kill your parents.

Powerful Eric: Yeah.

Bruce: Basically extortion.

Powerful Eric: Yeah, and that’s how, what was that, the girl that was kidnapped from her house and that they have found her a year or so later. This guy, just kind of broke into her house in the middle night, and he said, “if you shout or scream I am going to kill your family”. Smart–

Bruce: I remember something like that, yeah.

Powerful Eric: Yeah, she’s actually got a great video on YouTube about how she is now, and she’s doing really well. But getting back to your son, so, as of right now it appears that he’s not accessing porn, at least through that phone.

Bruce: Correct.

Powerful Eric: So, what would you do? What would you say to somebody that’s listening now, a lot of the people that are listening now are people that are struggling with a porn addiction or struggling with a sex addiction. However, a lot of these people, have kids of their own, what would your advice be to them?

Bruce: Well, the thing, the top thing, I’ve already said, and that is, be aware, observe, look at the phone, look at the computer that they’re using, look at their browsing history. You have every right to be nosy, and like, you know, the friends of my son want to argue about it and say, I did take the phone away, that no one even thought twice about it. You know, we live for generations upon generations that has smartphones, a 12 year old doesn’t need a smart phone.

Powerful Eric: That was my next question. Why does a 12 year old need a smart?

Bruce:  Well, and so, why did I get my son a phone. Because, frankly, I can’t trust his mother. You know, so, I want to be the provider of the phone, so, I can monitor the phone, I would be in charge of the phone, and he could call or text me whenever he was away. So, I had to have, actually what I thought of, is, if this happens again. I’m going to get rid of smartphone and give him an old fashioned flip phone, where he can get only contacts.

Powerful Eric: Again, and just for our viewing audience just so they know, Bruce actually has sole custody of his child, which as we know, is unusual. Usually it’s usually, it’s the mother.

Bruce: Let’s just say it was for a good reason.

Powerful Eric: Yeah, exactly. Now that question about, does a 12 year old need a smartphone? One issue that had come up, I have a 4 year old boy and I also have a 6 month old boy, and the issue that had come up, was not for giving him a phone but for letting him play with a, just a little iPad. Seems innocent enough. There was an interview done with Steve Jobs, about the iPad. He’s now, he’s been deceased for many years now. And in the interview, they asked him, ” so you know, how do your kids like the iPad”? His response was, I won’t let them play with it. Here’s Steve Jobs, the creator of the iPad, would not let his kids have one. Now, if that doesn’t say it all, I don’t know what does. I am going to be on a radio show, and the radio show, the host, Gia Valenti. She’s got a great book called “The Magnificent Melvin and Moxie”. And it’s a fictional story about a family, about them, not giving cell phones to their kids. In the book, I think they’re around the age of 10 years old, I could be wrong about that. It could be a little more can be a little less. But that as a family, they decided that they were not going to give their kids smartphones and I understand wanting to be in touch with your kids. I get It, I understand, but I’m just saying, it can be an option and the phones are expensive too. I mean, who would have thought back in the day of giving your child a quote and quote toy, we will call it, for several hundred dollars. No one would even think of that. Bruce, what do you think about not giving a kid a smartphone? Is that even an option now? I mean, we get–

Bruce: Absolutely. Like you were just saying, is it really necessary, does he or she really need it? Of course not, my blood and critical thinking, it’s lazy parenting. It’s an electronic babysitter, it gives your kids something to do when they are in the doctor’s office. Or, you know, the kids, and you know, little kids, like 2 or 3 years toddlers, sit in the grocery cart with mom and has to have their face in the phone. What world is this?

Powerful Eric: Right.

Bruce: To me it’s just completely foreign. And there’s just no way, you know, I mean, you discipline a child. You know, and anyone who always get their kid an A.D.D, because all they’re getting is gratification. It says, a toddler is a toddler.

Powerful Eric: Yeah.

Bruce: You know, I had to understand that, I had to give all my attention.

Powerful Eric: They don’t know how to be bored.

Bruce: Right. It’s like, when they are saying they’re bored. I’m saying, okay, be bored. Look out the window.

Powerful Eric: Yeah. Now the thing that’s going to come up with the kids at eventually some age. Well, everybody else has smartphones, why can’t I have one?

Bruce: Because I said so, I have no problem with that. I have no problem saying, well, that’s the choice of their parents, that I didn’t agree with that. I have different values. So, let’s say, let’s just continue that train of thought, you know he wants a cell phone, so, he can play these games online with his friends. Sorry.

Powerful Eric: Yeah.

Bruce: Not happening, you know, if you would invite them over to play on the console at home or you go to their house and play on the console at their house. Again, the smartphone, it is certainly making it too easy. You know what I mean? It, like, oh fine, I have the smartphone, I don’t have to worry about calling my buddy and inviting him over, we can just do it online. And then that leads to a much bigger discussion, you’re online as you shift through placing relationships, which is not a fair, to me, it’s not a fair comparison, but that’s what people do. Yeah, I mean, I have to stand myself out of it, like for instance, the first day I wake up, I wake up because the alarm is on my phone. I look at my phone, I have Facebook alerts, I’ll be on Facebook, half an hour later, I am like holy crap, it’s been half an hour since my alarm went off.

Powerful Eric: Oh yeah.

Bruce: And the time just flies by.

Powerful Eric: Yeah, I know.

Bruce: You have to discipline yourself.

Powerful Eric: Yeah. And that’s a whole other show. I’m literally doing right now, what I’m calling a digital detox. And it is amazing, now that I have, it’s been approaching 3 weeks now, something like that, without being on Facebook and things like that. And oh my gosh, I spend an inordinate amount of time on Facebook. I realize it now, that I’m not doing it, it’s incredible. So, but giving a child a smartphone unrestricted is, it’s just, it’s just like, you’re creating an addiction, maybe some addiction to porn, maybe some addiction to social media, or constant texting. But it’s, this is a huge issue that’s going on now. If you’re not addressing it with your child now, it will come up later. Yeah, you know, you can either be proactive now and address that now or react later when whatever catastrophe comes up. And I was talking, it’s this has been some time ago I was talking with someone about what I do. And he said, it’s funny that we’re talking about this, but my daughter, we happened to look at something she was doing online and there was a man that was trying to lower her into some type of sexual situation. And so, it’s really important. It’s a huge issue. Please take proactive steps to protect your children, there’s a lot, there’s a ton of resources online, on protecting your children. We mentioned the capital fundamentals, a program you can put on your phone What’s the one you are you’re using?

Bruce: Century.

Powerful Eric: Century, I mean, there’s a ton of things you can use. Like I said it, you can either address it now, proactively or react to it later when it comes knocking at your door. Well, thanks, Bruce. Thanks for being here. Thanks for sharing that intimate story about your son. And if you want some resources, I’ll post on my Facebook page or on my Powerful Eric page, some links to resources. You are designed for accomplishment. You are engineered for success, and you are endowed with a seed of greatness.

Listen to the full episode here:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/kids-on-porn/id1454294737?i=1000440955635

 

 

More Hypnosis

Drew Ferguson Expert Hypnotherapist

Powerful Eric: Hello power people, welcome to Porn Talk, Porn Talk is about addiction and breaking false belief systems. We are bound by self-imposed and societal chains, break those heavy chains and get empowered right now. Last week, we had hypnotherapist Dawn Ferguson with us, today we have her husband, Drew Ferguson. Drew I have to say, you got a lot to live up to because Dawn was awesome!  I mean, she really was.

Drew: Yes, she’s fantastic.

Powerful Eric: Yeah, it was a great interview, so, no pressure.

Drew: I think I can handle it.

Powerful Eric: Right, Dawn and Drew are passionate about delivering the message that you can live the life you dream, desire and design. Powerful people welcome my powerful friend Drew Ferguson. Welcome Drew.

Drew: Thank you very much, Eric we appreciate that.

Powerful Eric: Sure, let’s just jump right in. Can a person be hypnotized by just watching porn?

Drew: You can actually be hypnotized or experienced hypnosis. So, that you know, the hypnosis phenomenon. By any repetitive behaviour, or any repetitive, something you’re viewing, for instance, like say pornography, or baseball, or hockey, or any other thing that’s going to capture your imagination and your interest. Not only capture it but hold it. Okay. You know, a lot of people talk about I’m this junkie or that junkie. I know I’m a NASCAR junkie. I’m a baseball junkie. I’m a sport in general, I’m you know, it’s like I’m addicted to my business. Anything that triggers you like that, you are in a light alpha brainwave state. Now what is an Alpha Brainwave State? Alpha is the measurable brainwave that we experience when we are in a lighter hypnotic state. Okay, it is a naturally occurring thing, we drift into and out of Alpha Brainwave or light hypnotic, hypnotic, or hip nodal states, anywhere from 150 to 200 times in our daily activity. You’re driving down the road, you’re almost like an autopilot because you’re thinking about work or what you have to do after work or whatever. And, you know, part of your mind is taking care of the driving, and another part of your mind is doing all of that thought process. You know, it’s like, you’re an autopilot.

Powerful Eric: Yeah.

Drew: You are in an Alpha Brainwave state, you are in a light hypnotic state. Now, for the 5 to 10 minutes that as you fall asleep at night, and a much shorter period, as you wake in the morning, you pass through all 6 levels of hypnosis. Okay, from the very last just level, which is waking hypnosis, all the way down to level 6, which is the deepest level of hypnosis, which is where a lot of stage show participants. That’s the level they’re in, because they can imagine anything that they’re told to imagine.

Powerful Eric: Yeah.

Drew: It is also the level where some, a lot of experimental medicine is doing surgery without anaesthesia. Chemical anaesthesia let me put it to you that way.

Powerful Eric: Right.

Drew: They’re using deep hypnosis instead of chemical anaesthesia, it is a big thing in Great Britain.

Powerful Eric: Okay.

Drew: It’s being done in Canada, which is part of the British Commonwealth, it is being done in Australia. And you know, in Scotland and Ireland, as well as England. They’re doing hip replacement, knee replacements, other joint replacements without anaesthesia.

Powerful Eric: Wow, those are huge surgeries.

Drew: Absolutely.

Powerful Eric: Oh my gosh,

Drew: But think about this, Eric. If your children were born using the Lamaze or natural childbirth process, your wife experienced the same thing. Natural childbirth, Lamaze whatever you want to call it is self-hypnosis. Okay. I’ve had dental, I’ve had teeth extracted, using nothing more than self-hypnosis. It annoys the heck out of the dentist, because he wants to pick charge you for to give you that shot or give you the happiness. But sorry, you know.

Powerful Eric: Yeah, that’s a whole other conversation there.

Drew: Yeah, exactly. So, anytime you are intensely focused on any particular action activity. Maybe you know, if you’re in the St. Louis area and you’re a Blues fan, you know, you experienced an Alpha Brainwave state when you were watching that game on Wednesday Night. Okay. Particularly when the event happened in the last few seconds of the game, where there was a questionable call that went against the Blues.

Powerful Eric: Right.

Drew:  Yeah, you went into a very intense Alpha Brainwave state for a very short period of time. But every time you ruminate about it, you go back there.

Powerful Eric: I would be curious on, if they put electrodes on someone that was viewing pornography for extended period of time. How much of that time they’re in the Alpha Brain state? Because when I was really active in the addiction, honestly, I felt catatonic at the time. Not until I was completely done that I kind of like come to.

Drew: Yeah, and anytime that you lose track of time, all the way up to losing track of reality, which, you know, let’s face it, a lot of people when they’re experiencing a porn viewing, or event, will put themselves in the place of one of the characters.

Powerful Eric: Right.

Drew: Okay, yeah, that’s Alpha Brainwave. Okay, that can be a pretty deep level of the hypnotic state. So, do you experience that? Anything that triggers an emotional response in you, you are in a form of hypnosis. Okay, whether it’s very light, or very deep, depends on you know, the trigger in the event and how you respond to that trigger.

Powerful Eric: Yeah.

Drew: Yeah, that’s experiencing hypnosis.

Powerful Eric: You’ve just had answered my next question, which was going to be, can viewing television, or scrolling through Facebook, put someone into a state of hypnosis?

Drew:  Facebook counts on  you entering an Alpha Brainwave state while you’re scrolling, yes. Any repetitive behaviour triggers an Alpha Brainwave state.

Powerful Eric: I’m going to digress here really quick. I’m going to do another podcast on doing a digital detox, taking some time away from us, our screens and Facebook and such. But that’s another, another cast. But it sounds like Drew, from what you’re telling me that Alpha Brain state, you said that’s what where, it’s we’re very suggestible, right?

Drew: Yes.

Powerful Eric: So, the advertisements that we see on Facebook will be more apt to act on? The images and things that are happening in the pornography are going deeper into our mind and ourselves.

Drew: Advertisers count on triggering an Alpha Brainwave state, just, and that’s why they form their ads, whether it’s print, or TELEVISION or video, or whatever it happens to be. They create that Alpha Brainwave state, in hopes of getting you to buy their product. And I’ll give you a real simple example, I don’t particularly care for Doritos. I don’t like them.

Powerful Eric: Okay

Drew: They just don’t appeal to me, I can be sitting on a couch watching a television program and have a Doritos commercial come on. I’m not going to pay attention to it consciously. But within 10 to 15 minutes, I may be going through the cabinets in the kitchen looking for something salty.

Powerful Eric: Yeah.

Drew: Okay, it. won’t be Doritos, because I don’t like Doritos. But I mean, maybe in there looking for something salty. Okay.

Powerful Eric: Yeah.

Drew: Advertisers, use hip, light hypnotic states constantly. I’ll give you another great example. Cadillac, over the last roughly 15 years, almost 20 years now has become the new hot rod. Okay, the new c 28 Camaro, with their Cadillac, CTSV model. They had a commercial on Television, very effective commercial. They had, what you saw was a shot of the car, from the rear quarter, the driver side door was open. And it pulled back to have a very good looking very sharply dressed, very classically elegant lady standing there. Okay, and she, you see different angles and you see her feet. She sits into the car, and now you see her finger reaching for, Cadillacs have a round red start button on their dashboard, or at least this model does. Okay. And it says start on it, and she’s reaching for, you see beautifully manicured hand reaching for the start button. And the voiceover, in her voice, which is a very nice voice, says “when you turn your car on, does it return the favour”? Cadillac dealers couldn’t get CTS fees, they couldn’t keep them on their lot. I mean, their sales skyrocketed on that particular model. And the carryover carried over to some of their other models. Okay, which is one of the reasons why they have the hot engines in a lot of their other cars now too.

Powerful Eric: Yeah.

Drew: Because it was such an effective commercial. Okay. It was a very hypnotic, commercial. You whether you know, I’m male, obviously. Yeah, the lady is attractive, and the car, you already know about the car. They couldn’t keep them on the lot. Okay. That’s the kind of things that we’re bombarded with constantly, in any form of media.

Powerful Eric: Yeah.

Drew: And in a lot of our day to day activities, you can’t escape it.

Powerful Eric: Yeah, and I know, they put in, you know, sexual innuendos kind of behind things as well. Besides what you’re talking about there, like a little subtler. I know one, that was a really subtle one, years ago. I don’t know if it’s still there on the Marlboro camel at the time, you know, there was phallic symbols in there and things like that.

Drew: Sure.

Powerful Eric: But you had mentioned a little earlier stage hypnosis. Is that real, or is that just a show? I mean does that work?

Drew: I have seen you know, let me explain this. Dawn, my partner and wife, at business partner and wife and I are both what are called certified Hypnosis Instructors. Okay.

Powerful Eric: Yeah.

Drew: The classification CI certified instructor, we teach the certification program, and help people become certified hypnotist. Okay, we do it on a couple of different levels. One, we teach them how to do it, and then we teach them the business aspects of it.

Powerful Eric: Right.

Drew: I don’t do stage hypnosis. Are they real? I’ll guarantee you they’re real. Okay.

Powerful Eric: Yeah.

Drew: They are, no, with this proviso there. Yeah, there’s some charlatans out there. So, our stage show is real. Yeah, the vast majority of people who are participating in a stage show, they perform real things. And it’s not me, it’s hypnosis.

Powerful Eric: Right.

Drew: You follow?

Powerful Eric: So, yeah, so if hypnosis a stage, hypnotist can do that. What can happen to a person that is watching pornography on a regular basis? In essence, they’re in that Alpha State, for a great deal of time, I’m sure of it. Because I’ve been there. What can that do to the person?

Drew: Well, from my point of view, as a hypnotist, they become more hypnotizable. So, if they were to come to me or any other certified hypnotist, to be relieved of that habitual behaviour, to eliminate that habitual behaviour, it makes it easier for them to be hypnotized. And when you’re, when it’s easier for you to be hypnotized, it’s easier for that hypnosis session to be even more successful than otherwise might be.

Powerful Eric: Right.

Drew: So–

Powerful Eric: Great, I guess what I was trying to get out there is, I’m a big fan of Zig Ziglar, he’s now deceased. And he’s got a quote, I’m paraphrasing a little bit. He says, “you are what you are and where you are, because of what has gone into your mind, but you can change who you are, and where you are, by changing what goes into your mind”. You know, we’re in that super suggestible state, and just viewing porn all the time, I would think, well, I personally know, a really negative effect, although they had a negative effect on myself, because I’m in that super suggestible state.

Drew: I know that as a hypnotist, if they are willing to make a change. Now, that’s important to understand. Hypnosis cannot force you to change something that you’re not willing to change. Up to and including going into a hypnotic state to begin with. Okay, a hypnotist cannot force somebody into a hypnotic state, a hypnotist can lead someone into a hypnotic state, which is what we do, basically. Okay, we help you create the state. We don’t create the Alpha Brainwave state, we help the subject, create the Alpha Brainwave state.

Powerful Eric: Right.

Drew: Follow me on that?

Powerful Eric: Yes, yeah. Well, tell me, how did how did you get into hypnosis?

Drew: Well, it’s kind of interesting, and it goes back quite a way into my life. I’m a, you know, I’m a baby boomer, I was born right after the Second World War, not right after, but some years after the Second World War. I’m in high school, and I’m having problems with my intestines, I’m trying to find a gentle way to place this. A lot of difficulty with stress manifesting itself in what we now refer to as Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Okay.

Powerful Eric: Right.

Drew:  IBS, I would get terrible cramping, and just, I’m just absolutely I was writhing in pain. The nurse helped me, it was getting to the point where the school nurse was seeing me almost every week. And, I would be in her quiet room, just absolutely doubled over in pain for maybe an hour or two, before it would subside. And I could, you know, get to the point where, you know, I could go wash my face and dry, you know, dry my sweat, and, be able to maybe even go back to class, you know.

Powerful Eric: Right.

Drew: And, you know, she got to the point where this was happening for me so much. And I was being in her office so many times, that she comes to me and she says, “go up to the library”, and I went to a really big High School and the library was just absolutely spectacular. And she said, go to the library and get a book on meditation. Maybe meditation can help you. Okay, I did that, so I went up to the library, and I pull out the copy of the book, written by the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi back in the, I’m not sure when it was written, 40’s, 50’s, maybe on Transcendental Meditation,

Powerful Eric: The Beatles were big into that at the time.

Drew: Yeah, big into that, and that’s one of the reasons why I grabbed that book. And I took it home and I read it cover to cover and basically taught myself how to meditate. Guess what meditation is?

Powerful Eric: Well, Dawn told us last week, that’s a form of hypnosis.

Drew: It’s the Alpha Brainwave state. Yeah, Dawn told you that last week. When you meditate, you are in the same brainwave state as you are when you’re in hypnosis. Okay, it’s Alpha Brainwave. Yeah, what I was doing was hypnotizing myself to conquer the IBS. Did it work? Yeah, it worked great, I had, I didn’t have to go see the nurse anymore. Like once a week or, you know, I mean, it was just boom, that was it. You know, like, I saw the nurse in the hallway one day, and she said, I guess that meditations work, and I went, yeah, it’s working great. Fast forward to, we were certified in 2004. So, fast forward to 2004, Dawn had conquered an issue a medical issue herself, and looked into hypnosis and found a local instructor who is very famous in the hypnosis circles. And actually, he’s the Vice President of our organization, our sanctioning body now. And she said, I’m going to go take this class and become certified as a hypnotist. You want to go with me? And I said yeah, let’s do it. Right. Well, an hour and a half into class one, we’re, It’s break time, we’re all going to take a break. I turned to her. I said, “I’ve been doing this since high school”. And I thought it was meditation, and you know, at that point, I learned that meditation and hypnosis use the same brainwave state. So, I was actually hypnotizing myself.

Powerful Eric: Awesome.

Drew: Yeah, it’s amazing, what can be accomplished in the Alpha Brainwave state, it’s really amazing.

Powerful Eric: Yeah, and speaking of amazing things, do you have any clients or success stories that you can share with the audience?

Drew: You know, client wise, there are a lot of people walking around out there today, who are healthy non-smokers. Because of hypnosis, either. myself, Dawn, or one of our students, one of our graduates from our training.

Powerful Eric: Awesome, this show is not just about breaking addictions, it’s about breaking belief systems. Is there a belief system, about life or addictions that you think needs to be broken?

Drew: I know from experience and working with people on addictive behaviours, that, and even in my own experience, I had an addictive behaviour that made my life unmanageable. It threatened my welfare, it threatened my income, it threatened my family life. You know, I was basically seriously, you know, when I was a young guy into alcohol. And fortunately, for me, and my life, and the way things are. Last month, I celebrated 35 years of sobriety,

Powerful Eric: Congratulations.

Drew: Thank you, and it’s one day at a time, okay. Just like any other addictive behaviour, you have to get into the habit of living one day at a time. Which when you think about it, to appreciate it, you know, I hate to use the cliché, you’re stopping to smell the roses, but that’s what you’re doing. You’re paying attention, you are present in the presence. Okay. And, that’s something that we’re hearing more and more about, in the world of human behaviour today is being present. For the people you love, being present for your spouse, being present–

Powerful Eric: Yes, absolutely, because if someone has a cell phone that they are looking at, and you’re trying to have a conversation with them, it can be very distracting, disturbing–

Drew: Oh, absolutely.

Powerful Eric: So, yes, to be present with the other person, whether they don’t have a, they are not watching television, and now that’s called, it’s called secondary device or whatever, where a person is watching television and then they’re also on a device at the same time.

Drew: Yes, they’re on their cell phone or their tablet or their laptop or whatever. Yeah, and there are times when I’m guilty of that. I have to be mindful, having, you know, being one of those persons with what could be called an addictive personality. Okay, I have to be mindful not to be participating in that addictive personality.

Powerful Eric: Yeah.

Drew: Okay, I have to be mindful of being present in what I’m doing.

Powerful Eric: Right.

Drew: As you know, I am an automotive enthusiast.

Powerful Eric: Okay.

Drew: Like I said, earlier, in the conversation, I raced sports cars for the last number, quite a number of years. I was also an instructor in that, as a matter of fact, I love cars. When I’m driving a car, I am fully present in the experience of driving a car.

Powerful Eric: And you know, that brings me to the next point in that we’re not just here talking about addictions, we’re talking about creating a great life and you’re talking about something that you really enjoy, that you’re passionate about. What would you tell someone, either as a certified hypnotist, or just as Drew, how can somebody create a great life?

Drew: Stop participating in your addiction and change your whole life. Okay, it’s, you know that sounds oversimplified. Okay, and, you know, I’ll go back to my experience in Alcoholics Anonymous. My sponsor used to tell me, stop drinking, change your whole life. That’s it. Okay. Now, how do you do that? You stop participating in that behaviour. And you change everything you’re doing. So, how do you do that?

Powerful Eric: Can you just stop doing the behaviour, or do you have to replace it?

Eric: Replacing it with a positive, will help you get through the worst part of it, and the worst part of it’s going to be the first 90 to 180 days. Okay, you can find something else that’s harmless, maybe even constructive. And, just replace that behaviour that you want to eliminate, with something that’s positive. What comes to mind is, you know, I’m the business guy. So, you know, that’s why this probably comes to mind, I might stop participating in a behaviour that I want to eliminate, like, say, for instance, porn or something like it.

Powerful Eric: Right.

Drew: And replace it with maybe reading books about how I can be a better businessman. Or how I can be a better human being. Okay.

Powerful Eric: Right.

Drew: I will say this, I’m going to say it very carefully, it is helpful to be able to find something greater than yourself, that you can rely and count on and use that to get you through the worst part. Now, in AA, they talk about your higher power, it can be what that higher power can be, whatever you need it to be. whatever name you want to assign it, assigned to it, or activity, or behaviour, or whatever you want to assign to that higher power that is safe and healthy.

Powerful Eric: Right.

Drew: Okay.

Powerful Eric: Yeah, and finding something that’s becoming bigger than yourself, also can be about helping a lot of people, getting out of yourself, and thinking, and stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about helping other people. Some type of humanitarian project. That’s why I do this show, I want to help people.

Drew: Yes, yeah, exactly, you’ll see people that involve, get involved in organizations like Habitat for Humanity, or you know, feed the children, or these other organizations. And you know, what, if that works for you, if that makes you feel better about yourself, because let’s face it, when you are deep into an addictive behaviour, you don’t feel good about yourself. You know, and I’m talking from experience here.

Powerful Eric: Me too, I hear you.

Drew: You don’t feel good about it, you feel like you’re falling down stairs. And you can’t stop falling down stairs.

Powerful Eric: Yeah.

Drew: Okay. You’re on the world’s longest flight of stairs, and you can’t stop. I’m here to tell you, if you’re watching this program, because you’re looking for a way to get out of an addictive behaviour. Eric is doing a wonderful service here. I’m, I’ve been there, I know what you’re going through. Okay, finding something that you can put your focus on, rather than that addictive behaviour, whether it’s drugs, alcohol, porn, or any other addictive behaviour.

Powerful Eric: Yeah.

Drew: If you can find something that you can put your focus on, do it. That’s going to help you break the chain of behaviours that you keep falling back on.

Powerful Eric: Drew, what would you say to the person, in what you just said now applies to this question to, but to as a professional hypnotist, what would you say to a person that came to you and said, you know, I’ve tried again and again, to stop viewing pornography, or having compulsive sex, whatever. I’ve tried and tried stop. What would you tell that person as a professional hypnotist?

Drew: Well, it’s interesting that you bring that up, because studies have shown that when people will go to a hypnotist, it’s because they’ve tried seven other things to break the chain of behaviour. And none of them have worked, and so, basically, what they’re saying is,” Oh, hell, I’ll just go to, I’ll go to a hypnotist, I’ll try anything, I’ll go to a hypnotist”. So, we as professional Hypnotists, who are out there helping people, you know, break the chain of addictive behaviours. Were the usually, the eighth thing that people try, there’s exceptions to that. Now, somebody who may be tried eight things to become a healthy non-smoker and found that the best thing was to go to the hypnotist. The hypnotist is probably going to be the first thing that they go to break the next unhealthy behaviour.

Powerful Eric: Yeah.

Drew: Okay, but yeah, from our viewpoint, as a profession, we’re generally the eight things that people try to break the chain of that addictive behaviour.

Powerful Eric: Well, if someone does want to give it a try, how do they get a hold of you or your website? Can you tell listeners

Drew: Sure, our website is drewdawnferguson.com, catchy name, right? That’s Drew, DREW, Dawn, DAWN, and Ferguson, FERGUSON.com. Usually on the first page, we will have a hypnosis audio that you can listen to. But you can actually experience a little bit or a little taste of what it’s like to experience and hypnotic state. You can reach out to us by phone 636-699-7791. That’s again, 636-699-7791. I will tell you this, it doesn’t matter where you are. You don’t, you can be anywhere in the world. We have clients that we have worked with virtually in 35 states. And just recently, we add, added our sixth foreign country, Russia, believe it or not.

Powerful Eric: Fantastic, well Drew, thank you so much for being on the show. And be sure to check out their website if you like. And I’m going to close actually with that the quote I used earlier from Zig Ziglar, Who says, “you are what you are and where you are because of what has gone into your mind. You can change what you are, and you can change where you are by changing what goes into your mind”. Be powerful, folks.

Listen to the whole show here:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/porn-talk/id1454294737

 

Porn Hypnosis

Dawn Ferguson expert Hypnotherapist

Hypnotized by Porn?  Break the spell with expert Hypnotist Dawn Ferguson.

Powerful Eric: Greetings powerful people. Welcome to Porn Talk. Porn Talk is not just about breaking addictions, it’s about breaking belief systems. We are bound by self-imposed and societal chains, break the chains and get empowered right now!

Today it is my pleasure to have Dawn Ferguson with us and her husband, Drew Ferguson will be with us next week. Dawn and Drew Ferguson are known as the health, wealth and happiness coaches. They are the founders of Ferguson International, Ferguson and Associates Hypnotherapy and the Next Level Up Association, Dawn and Drew work with women and men to help them transform their relationships with money, time, and their career, so they can experience the success and freedom they’ve always desired. Their expertise and insight has helped thousands of people design a life that reflects their true brilliance and purpose, as coaches, speakers, authors, certified hypnotherapists and workshop leaders, their work has empowered the lives of thousands of people worldwide. Their programs include best-selling products and events such as, how to stop the self-sabotage. Well, we could talk about that one, right?

Dawn Ferguson: Yeah, and that’s as far as you need to go Eric. That’s it right there!

Powerful Eric: Yeah. Well, you also have other programs like three simple steps to success, the health, wealth and happiness tour and many more. And Dawn and Drew are passionate about delivering their message that you can live the life you dream, desire, and design. They believe you living a life of health, wealth and happiness is a part of your spiritual path. So, powerful people, welcome my powerful friend, Dawn Ferguson. Welcome, Dawn.

Dawn Ferguson: Thanks Eric, gosh, we’ve really known each other a long time, haven’t we?

Powerful Eric: Yeah, I think, I was actually thinking about that before the call. It’s been, gosh, probably approaching a decade.

Dawn Ferguson: Yeah. And watch the evolution of both of us, as we move along our path, and your audience has their own evolution of the path that they’re supposed to be walking along. And unfortunately, something has stalled them, it has cut them out, and that’s what you assist them with, right?

Powerful Eric: Exactly.

Dawn Ferguson: They feel like they’re stuck and struggling. So, I have a question for you. How long do you think someone tries to break their pornography addiction before they give up? What do you think it might be? I’m curious.

Powerful Eric: Well, I would answer the question with a question in that, how long would I give– I just I have a five-month-old baby boy. And I would ask myself, “how long would I give my son to learn to walk before I would just say, you know?”.

Dawn Ferguson: Yeah. Just not cut out for it.

Powerful Eric: Just not– maybe you should crawl for the rest of your life. So, obviously, my answer is, you know, there’s that Winston Churchill, or attributed to Winston Churchill, at least, to quote that, “never, never, never, never give up”. And that’s what I would say, to never, ever give up.

Dawn Ferguson: And whether people label it an addiction or a compulsive behavior or a problem, an issue, a challenge, whatever it is, that’s it, is that there’s a part of them that just won’t let go as far as you can do this.

Powerful Eric: Right.

Dawn Ferguson: You can get through to what’s on the other side. At times, we all will say, “Okay, I’m done. It’s not supposed to be, I’m giving up”. And then, maybe a few weeks later, they’re like, “I’m going to try one more time”. And so, speaking to that part of your audience that says, “you know what? let’s look at one more time, you can make progress. We know you can. Let’s do it one more time”.

Powerful Eric: And for those of the audience that are just joining on this podcast and don’t know, I struggled with this for a couple decades. So, I didn’t give up. And that leads me to the question, Dawn, you know, I talked about in the intro, do you really believe a porn addict can live a life of health, wealth and happiness?

Dawn Ferguson: Yes. I believe any type of addict can, whether it’s pornography, whether it’s drugs, whether it’s to food, because there are some substances that can set us up, whether it’s for medications that the doctor prescribed, and they wind up getting abused. But, in the case of pornography, definitely, when we understand what was the ongoing reason was why that person keeps going back to pornography.

Powerful Eric: Yes.

Dawn Ferguson: And then, when you understand, hey, what starts it, that’s going to be individual and unique for each person. But, there’s something that gets triggered that has us, whatever that addiction may be, we’ll go back to that tool, should we say, again and again, to get our needs met. Well–

Powerful Eric: No pun intended.

Dawn Ferguson: No pun intended, okay? Those needs are never going to go away. They’re always going to be there, it’s what we call the core four. They’re always going to be there, we just have to find functional ways to get them met, instead of the way that the brain has said, “let’s use the path of least resistance and do this, even though we know it’s unhealthy. Even though there’s fallout, even though this is hurting people that we care about, let’s just go back to it”. Well, we have to replace, we just can’t get rid of it.

Powerful Eric: Exactly. And I love what you’re saying because a lot of the addiction programs out there are just dealing with the symptom. How many days did you not do the thing?

Dawn Ferguson: And what do you have to do? You have to think about the thing and then not doing the thing, to know how many days you did not do the thing.

Powerful Eric: Right.

Dawn Ferguson: So yeah, there’s a variety of programs and for some people, that’s what they need. They need that focus on the abstinence, but that’s not a fit for everybody.

Powerful Eric: Right. Well, and speaking of other, you know, different tools for different people, tell us a little bit more about yourself, and about how you got involved with hypnotherapy as a tool.

Dawn Ferguson: Yes. I’ve been doing this now 15 years, and I actually had a medical challenge. I knew nothing about hypnosis. I mean, I didn’t even pay attention to the comedy shows that had stage hypnosis, I knew nothing about it. But I had a medical challenge and they were prescribing surgery for it. And boy, I just didn’t– I don’t necessarily want to do something invasive, if there’s another way around it.

Powerful Eric: Right.

Dawn Ferguson: So, I started doing some research and found where Harvard, in their mind body clinic was teaching some of their patients self-hypnosis to manage the symptoms of some diseases.

Powerful Eric: This was through Harvard?

Dawn Ferguson: Yeah. And in fact, Mayo Clinic now utilizes hypnosis with their cancer patients, because they’ve discovered that if a cancer patient has to have surgery, to remove any type of malignancy, utilizing hypnosis, they heal faster, and they need less pain medication. So, I used it, it worked. The doctors told me I didn’t have to have the surgery. And it was like, “Dude, what else can this do?”. And, I started doing some investigating, decided that because of the rapid results with hypnosis, people will experience if it’s a fit for them, they’re going to experience results same day and said, “Wow, yeah, I want to do this and assist others”. So, 15 years ago, I became certified, a couple of years after that, obtained an additional certification as an instructor where I now train others to become hypnotherapists, our last graduating class, had a lay person like me, who was just fascinated with it, and wanted to assist others, but there was also therapists as well as doctors in the class where they wanted to be able to assist people for those same day results. So, that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

Powerful Eric: Well, let me ask you this. There’s a lot of misconceptions about hypnotherapy and that it can be “whoo-whoo”, and that– what are some of the misconceptions about hypnotherapy? And are there any other words? I understand there’s other words people use for hypnotherapy.

Dawn Ferguson: Yes, the misconceptions is that, it is some sort of mind control, and that you’re going to fall underneath the spell of that person and they’re going to make you do whatever. If that were true, Eric, I would already be rich and retired, okay? Whenever I became certified 15 years ago, I had a house full of teenagers, I tried hypnotizing them to do the housework, the vacuuming, and the dishes. No. So, the mind control as maybe Hollywood has portrayed it, is not existent. Actually, people see us because they are out of control already, and they need to figure out how to take their power back. Because if you think about it, we have been conditioned to turn our power away over to people in authority.

Powerful Eric: Yes.

Dawn Ferguson: You know, when we were little kids, make mom and dad or the babysitter happy by going along with what they did. And then you get into school, and the parents go, “now make the teachers happy”. And, the way you make everybody happy is you have to solve problems, the more problems you solve, the more you get promoted in school. And then you graduate from school, and now you move into corporate. And the more problems you solve, the more you get promoted, of which points, you can’t solve problems anymore. But, the way the mind works, is that there’s a difference between solving problems and designing a life and then living it.

Powerful Eric: Oh, awesome. Oh boy, put that quote on the wall. Can you say that again?

Dawn Ferguson: Yes. That the mind is designed that you can either solve problems, or you can design a life and live it.

Powerful Eric: That’s fantastic.

Dawn Ferguson: And the challenge is with the powerful part of our mind known as the subconscious that handles all of our habits and patterns, it says it will not tolerate a void, if you take out a problem, it has to replace it with something. It’s kind of replace it with another problem.

Powerful Eric: Yeah.

Dawn Ferguson: I’m stressed out. I didn’t get the promotion at work, I didn’t get the raise. And so, what’s going to make me feel better? I’m going to go back to what I know is going to give me instantaneous results, which is going to be the porn. But then, the challenges, because the mines designed to solve problems, it’s going to have to turn what felt good into a problem that needs to be solved.

Powerful Eric: Right.

Dawn Ferguson: Okay, so, misconceptions around hypnosis, it’s mind control, no, actually we show people how their mind works so, they can get back into control. Or can I be hypnotized? This is where it gets interesting, Eric, every time you’re in any type of emotional or feeling state, you’re in a suggestible state. And so, you feel happy, you’re open to suggestion, what will make me feel happier? You’re stressed, you’re in a suggestible state, how can I get away? So, you’re either looking to amplify or avoid. And when we deal with addictions, it’s because there’s something we want to avoid, instead of designing that life and amplifying. So, can you be hypnotized? Well, science says that you go in and out of an alpha brainwave of suggestible state also known as hypnosis, anywhere between 100 and 200 times every single day.

Powerful Eric: Amazing.

Dawn Ferguson: So, now you want to understand when you’re going into those states, what suggestions you’re accepting, and make sure that they’re the ones of living your life by design. So, that’s the major misconceptions, it’s mind control, can I be hypnotized? Will I do anything I don’t want to do? That goes along with the mind control, no, you can only utilize hypnosis to bring somebody out at their best. They’re already at their worst. You asked about–

Powerful Eric: Other words for hypnosis.

Dawn Ferguson: Yeah, meditation is the same brainwave state, if someone’s doing guided imagery, or guided visual visualization, that’s going to be hypnosis. Meditation in its true form, is not hypnosis. Hypnosis looks to make transformations, change is not enough, let’s go for the transformation. Meditation looks to quiet the mind. So, people go, “oh, Eric, I had a wonderful meditation where they took us through the woods, and there was a beautiful babbling brook”. And it’s like, “no, that’s hypnosis”, there’s guided imagery or visualization to it. It is using that symbolism to effect some sort of upgrade. If it is just quieting the mind, that is going to be true meditation. Did that answer your question?

Powerful Eric: Yes, it did. And, actually answered my next question, really, which was, you know, mindfulness is a really big catch word right now. I was going to ask; would you say hypnosis is being mindful? But, obviously, you answered that.

Dawn Ferguson: It can assist people in being mindful, that when they find that they’re being pulled out of the present into the past, “Hey, I am stressed, I’m aggravated, I got hurt, I got rejected, I’ve been abandoned”. And, they pull themselves out of the present moment into the past and say, “this is how I’ve handled it before. I’ve used porn for that quick release to have me feel a little bit better, even short term”. They’re no longer being mindful, mindful is staying in the moment and then saying, “Okay, how can we actually utilize what we’re experiencing to bring ourselves out at our best? Instead of going into the past, and using those old, unwanted, unneeded habits and patterns”, so, it can assist with mindfulness.

Powerful Eric: Okay. Well, have you ever witnessed any miracles in your 15 years of doing this, any miracles using hypnotherapy?

Dawn Ferguson: And I have to be very careful using the term miracles, because there is a branch of science and health care that says use the word miracle, you’ll get a cease and desist letter.

Powerful Eric: And cure too, they don’t like the word cure.

Dawn Ferguson: No, not at all. Have there been some rabid identity upgrades? Yes, to where someone who wasn’t able to function in his intimate relationship unless there was porn involved, it had gotten to the point that he could no longer engage with her, unless that was involved.

Powerful Eric: Yeah. That’s very common.

Dawn Ferguson: Yes, it is. And the wedding actually got cut off– called off, the upcoming wedding, the engagement was broken off. She was like, “I can no longer deal with this”, and one session, giving him a tool that he could use to bring himself out in who he wanted to be in that relationship with her, not who he was just to cope short-term using the porn, but who he really wanted to be, and what we call the core four, the for emotional needs. Yeah, the wedding got called back on after just one session.

Powerful Eric: One session?

Dawn Ferguson: Now, that doesn’t happen for everybody and I, whenever I work with anybody who has a behavior that they could label addictive, because I don’t label it, they do.

Powerful Eric: Right.

Dawn Ferguson: I tell them, “you’re going to get results from your very first session. And maybe that’s all you need. If you need additional, it’s going to be up to you”, because it’s all about transfer of power and authority. They’ve been stripped emotionally of what they need to bring themselves out of their best. They don’t need another person telling them, “well, it’s going to take this many sessions and you need this package”. No, it’s time for them to start experiencing the control that they’ve been looking for.

Powerful Eric: Yes, and using the word addiction, that’s just the word I use because people know it. But, there’s a big debate, or a huge debate about, is it sex addiction? Or, is it just a bad habit? Or, is it– I think the word they’re using right now is being hyper sexual. But to me, it’s almost irrelevant on what we call it. The question is, is it negatively impacting your life?

Dawn Ferguson: And, there’s a reason, I’m glad you brought that up, and that you do call it addiction because a lot of people, that’s how they’re going to identify. And so, we do need a label, we do need something to call it. If you look at the psychological studies of people who have some sort of medical condition, and the doctors can’t figure out what’s wrong with them and it keeps getting worse and worse and worse, or symptoms get worse and worse. And then, they finally find a doctor who says, “Oh, I know what’s wrong with you. And we’re going to give it this diagnosis”. For approximately 72 hours after that diagnosis, they do feel better, because we have to have a way to identify and label it. And so, if they’re going to call it an addiction, that actually assists them, in being able to already start the healing process to get to the other side, or the hyper sexual, whatever it might be. I always tell my clients, “I’m going to go by the label that they’ve decided, it’s not up to me to tell them what they’ve got going on”. But, they do need to pick a label. Because, once we have a label, then we can say, “what’s on the other side of that label?”. Because an addict is an addict. I don’t care if you’re addicted to something that is holding you back in life, or if you’re addicted to bringing yourself out at your best. Addiction is addiction. Let’s just keep going in the right direction.

Powerful Eric: Right. Well, and that brings me to 12-step programs and many therapists and those in the medical field, say that you have a disease like, we’ll talk about alcoholism, for example. You have a disease and you have it for life. Do you think a sex or porn addict has a disease?

Dawn Ferguson: I don’t know that I would call it a disease. And this is the reason why, by the way, just my own personal story. I have not had a drink now in 18 years. Because I was an alcoholic, is this a disease I have? Not necessarily, it is a coping mechanism that does not work for me.

Powerful Eric: Yes! I love the way you said that. Yes.

Dawn Ferguson: Okay, so, I stay, if you don’t want to slip, just stay out of slippery places and don’t go hang out in bars. Do not use the alcohol, I found other ways to bring myself out at my best, or to relax myself, whatever it might be. Disease, that’s really interesting, Eric that you brought that up. Medical science tells us that we can study a disease to learn how to treat it. But, we can’t help that patient get healthy. The only way you can help somebody get healthy is by studying healthy people. And then saying, “Well, what are they doing that you’re not? Let’s get you doing that”. So, treating something like cancer is going to be much different than so saying, “okay, what is it that we need to do to give your body everything it needs to be as healthy as possible?”. Some people if they need that label, that they have a disease and they’re going to have it for life, if that helps them stay clean, I’m all for it. But, that isn’t necessarily helping them because there’s something known as being a dry drunk, I don’t know about, what the term might be in pornography to where you’re no longer using it. But, it doesn’t mean your life is any better, you may still be a complete asshole like you were before.

Powerful Eric: That’s funny. So, the program has a little mascot. And, he’s basically, he’s a little wiener with arms, and he’s looking, he’s got a smartphone, and he’s obsessively looking at his smartphone and I got a promotion going on right now, that you can name the mascot and one of the names that I got, and I love and might be the winner, we’ll see. He named him Raging Richard. And then–

Dawn Ferguson: That’s good.

Powerful Eric: Raging Richard, don’t be a dick.

Dawn Ferguson: I did not pick up that when you want to name him Richard. Oh, I love that play on words, I think you’ve got your winner right there. I think you’ve got your wiener winner.

Powerful Eric: That’s awesome.

Dawn Ferguson: So, yeah, if someone needs to say that they’ve got a disease, because that’s going to assist them, hey, I’m going to go with that label. But again, is it going to help you be healthier? That’s what we want to look at, not just stopping the dysfunction, but what’s on the other side of the dysfunction?

Powerful Eric: Yes, and, that’s the reason why I do this show because I feel like most of the addiction programs out there are not doing that.

Dawn Ferguson: No, they treat the addiction. They don’t bring the person out at the very best. Okay, can I jump in real quick with what’s known as the core four?

Powerful Eric: Of course.

Dawn Ferguson: Okay, core four. Core four basically says that we have for emotional needs. The first one is for certainty, we need to have certain things that we can count on. Because when we get stressed, when life begins to fall apart, those are going to be the actions that soothes us. But you know, if life is too soothing, it gets real boring. So, the one up from that is variety. We need a lot of different experiences coming our way, if we get bored. This is you know, and social media knows this. This is the reason why they come at you with so many different images, because they’re hooking you with that variety. Then after variety, you’re going, “Hey, pay attention to me”, and so you have a level of worthiness, “I’m important, I matter”, and then after that, validation. Validation shows up a couple of different ways, love, but if we can’t get the love that we’re looking for, we’ll settle for just connection. If we do something, and it meets just one of those needs, we’ll probably never do it again, if we do something and it meets two of those needs, we’ll go back to it occasionally, if it meets three of those needs, yeah, it’s compulsive behavior. If it’s meeting all four, we’ll engage in it again and again and again. If we think about porn, we’re certain that it’s going to get us relief.

Powerful Eric: Right.

Dawn Ferguson: A lot of variety with it.

Powerful Eric: Importance, I matter, maybe out in the regular world I got rejected by somebody, someone else didn’t come through for me, but hey, what I got on this screen in front of me right now, they’re making me feel like I matter. No pun intended, no, pun intended, they make me feel like a big shot, money shot, okay? And then, after that, we’re craving love, but we feel like we can’t get it, there’s so much shame and guilt over what we just did. So, we’ll settle for the connection, and we’ll settle for the connection of going back to it again and again.

Powerful Eric: Right. And that variety, you’re so dead on. The research that I’ve done into this, is that, that is one of the huge reasons why people get addicted to porn, because your brain is always looking for mates, you’re looking for a mate. And the screen shows, “Oh, here’s a new mate”. And then the screen, you go to another screen, “here’s a new mate, here’s a new mate, here’s a new mate”, and so it never ends.

Dawn Ferguson: Right. But that the way those core four show up, that can lead us into having challenges, are the same way that they can show up to help us get to what’s on the other side. So, we learn what is it that we need to have in our lives to be certain whenever we feel stressed out. How can we get a variety of experiences, without having to tune into something digital? That worthiness that we do matter and finding those important relationships, which is one of the reasons why 12-step groups can assist people long-term because they’re developing those relationships. It’s just not necessarily relationships that are going to bring them out of their healthiest and then, learning to experience the love that we have for ourselves. That guilt is good. Guilt says, you violated a value, shame, never helped anyone because shame says there’s something wrong with us.

Powerful Eric: Yeah. In my 20 years, in virtually, every 12-step program you can imagine, I’ve been in. That was, by far the best part, was the fellowship that was developed there, that would, in my opinion, is the biggest, best part of 12-step programs. Ultimately, it really did not work for me, and I found mindfulness and other things. But, that is definitely, if you’re going to stay in a 12-step program that, in my opinion would be the biggest reason why, the fellowship that’s developed.

Dawn Ferguson: And, I was working with a woman that was having a challenge in this area. She led a company where she was in a male dominated field and, to be accepted in that field, she had to be seen as one of the guys and so, going out, drinking and, she took that identity pretty serious, that masculine identity. And so, just like a guy can start looking at porn, she did also. I’m not saying women who look at porn and have challenges with it, have a masculine identity, but because of the field she was in, it led to more masculine problems. When we were working together, that’s one of the things that she was missing, Eric, was the support system. And so, it was, “don’t go out looking for the other guys. I want you to start getting engaged and start engaging in activities outside of your work, where other women are and start looking at developing friendships there”. It only took her a few months of doing that and saying who might want to go to the movies or go out for lunch or dinner, and as she did that, she needed less and less of the porn until it was no longer needed in her life. So, for her, it was the addiction. But, it was because she was missing that support system.

Powerful Eric: Right. Well, we’ve been talking– obviously, this is a serious top topic here. Let’s take a step back. Do you have any interesting or crazy stories about people you work with or your personal life? Something like that?

Dawn Ferguson: Well, you know, utilizing hypnosis, you never know what’s going to show up because we use something that’s known as parts therapy for inner conflict resolution.

Powerful Eric: Okay.

Dawn Ferguson: And, it basically says we have all these different parts to us. So, for example, Eric, when, how old is your baby now?

Powerful Eric: Actually, he’s coming up on six months, actually.

Dawn Ferguson: Oh, six months. So, when you’re with him, you’re the nurturing daddy that a six-month-old needs.

Powerful Eric: Right.

Dawn Ferguson: That is not the part of your personality that comes out when you’re in an intimate moment with your partner, okay? It’s also not the part of your personality that comes out whenever you’re doing the podcast, right? So, we all have these different aspects to ourselves, we have a challenge when those aspects get into a disagreement, okay?

Powerful Eric: Okay.

Dawn Ferguson: And so, working with a woman who was having a challenge with how she was eating sticks of butter, okay?

Powerful Eric: Sticks of butter.

Dawn Ferguson: Sticks of butter, and she would eat in a way where it was very public, and people would point and laugh at her.

Powerful Eric: Oh boy.

Dawn Ferguson: And you’re like, “what sane individual would do this?”. Well, it’s not whether or not we’re sane, it’s what part of her personality learn that coping mechanism.

Powerful Eric: Yeah.

Dawn Ferguson: So, hypnotizing her and asking her to go back to the time when her mind first decided she should eat sticks of butter. She was like three or four, big family, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins would come over every Sunday for dinner. She was the youngest in the family, got completely overlooked, and she learned one day, she got out of her chair and she started running around the table, and the people were stopping and hollering at her. And she reached up, there was a stick of butter right there, she reached up, she grabbed it, and she shoved the entire thing in her mouth. Now, when you have a three-year-old do that, people are going to laugh at you, right?

Powerful Eric: Yeah.

Dawn Ferguson: She learned at three years old to get attention, to eat inappropriately in a way where people could see it and laugh.

Powerful Eric: Oh my gosh.

Dawn Ferguson: Okay. For her, it was a great relief, for me, I’m going because she’s interacting with me why she’s in a hypnotic state, as well as the three-year-old that we brought out. And I’m like, “you cannot make this stuff up”.

Powerful Eric: Eating an entire stick of butter. Oh.

Dawn Ferguson: But, that’s how you get attention, right?

Powerful Eric: Yeah.

Dawn Ferguson: And for the three-year-old, people laughed at her in a way that was humorous. Now as an adult, people are shaming her, the three-year-old didn’t understand that. So, it was like, okay, the very creative part of her mind, finding other ways that she could bring joy to somebody’s life, she wounds up signing up for improv comedy classes, and learning to do that. And when she did that, she no longer needed to eat in a way where people pointed and laughed at her. Now, she’s bringing in joy through her stand-up comedy routines.

Powerful Eric: That’s incredible. That’s awesome. That’s a great story.

Dawn Ferguson: It is, but we never know what potential was locked inside of us, we started taking actions, because there was something we needed. But, those actions as time went on turned dysfunctional. Well, the need is still there, let’s just find a way to bring you out at your best. Now, one other quick story. One of the techniques we use is something called the bus, we hypnotize someone, and when I say we, it’s either myself or my partner Drew. And we ask them to imagine that there’s a bus that they’re on with all these other people and that one of the people slides in next to the seat that they’re in, and it’s the part of their personality that’s having the problem. And now, they can have a dialogue or conversation with that part of them. So, there was one guy that I’m like, “okay, you’re on the bus”, and he’s like, “No, I’m not”. I’m like, “okay, really, why? Let’s go on”, and he didn’t go on, and he said, “the bus is full of everybody having a really good time. And it’s– I’m at the bus stop, but the doors are closed, and they won’t let me on”. And I’m like, “okay, who told you that you had to be shut out of life?”. And he had been through a trauma when he was a young adult. And he felt like he had to shut everything off, feeling any of those emotions, shut it all off, so, he wouldn’t be traumatized by it again. And yet, and that’s what the bus represented, but yet, actually getting on the bus was also the fun aspects of him. So, when he shut off the trauma, he shut off everything. And so, we actually had to convince the bus driver to let him on the bus. So…

Powerful Eric: Right.

Dawn Ferguson: That’s a couple of stories using parts therapy and hypnosis.

Powerful Eric: Yeah. Well, how can hypnosis help a sex or porn addict?

Dawn Ferguson: That’s a good question. Well, let me ask you this, Eric, why did you decide, we’ve been friends for a long time, you know, we enjoy going out for our lunches, I’m looking forward to the next one. Why did you think, knowing the small amount you did about hypnosis, why did you think that this might be something where Drew or I needed to be on here?

Powerful Eric: Well, mindfulness is a big part of the program that we put guys through that are addicted to sex and porn. And I knew that hypnosis fell under that umbrella, but I wasn’t exactly sure where.

Dawn Ferguson: Okay, so, when you’re dealing with mindfulness, what I love about that aspect is it works with the entire identity, mentally, emotionally and physically. To be mindful, you have to be able to keep your focus, you have to understand the emotions that are coming through, and then the actions that you take physically are going to be the ones to stay in that state of mindfulness. To be able to maintain it. Most people know of hypnosis for behavioral modification, that bottom level, “hey, I used to smoke, and I used hypnosis and I’m a healthy non-smoker, or I reduced my weight”, whatever it might be. Hypnosis is excellent for behavioral modification, as far as stopping something, and then finding a replacement for it that’s healthy. But, then it goes along with what you’re doing. Because for me, that’s not enough. Then there’s the emotional optimization, the emotions that run through us, we’re not going to get rid of them. So, what are we going to do with it? So, hypnosis can take that stress that overwhelm, that fear and actually turn it into extra energy to bring ourselves out at our best. And then, mentally, we’re dealing with some beliefs that we may not be aware that are there, which is what I was talking about, just a little bit ago, with the butter, that was a belief. People need to point and laugh at me when I eat, I need to bring joy to somebody’s life that way. So, hypnosis can work with uncovering what the beliefs are, and then not getting rid of them, but actually upgrading them just like we did with our comedian who’s doing her stand-up now. So, that’s how hypnosis can assist someone to upgrade their identity.

Powerful Eric: Okay, and you kind of answered this with your answer just now, but what do you think guys that are still acting out compulsive sex or porn, need to know?

Dawn Ferguson: That, number one, the mind will not tolerate a void. So, what do you want to replace it with? You just can’t say, “stop doing that”. So, what do you want to replace it with that is going to assist you with the emotions that you’re experiencing right now? Then, the second thing would be, putting together a plan of when you get triggered, what are you going to do when the triggers show up? Because they aren’t going away.

Powerful Eric: Right.

Dawn Ferguson: And then the final thing is, it takes 91 days for what’s known as an identity upgrade. This means, not that you’re 91 days clean. It means that 91 days, you continuously say, “I’m going to get to the other side. I’m going to move past this. I’m going to bring myself out at my best”. And you do that for three months, you’ve activated it in an area of your brain where now you’re moving into leadership, leading yourself instead of being controlled by painful past.

Powerful Eric: Love it. Dawn, as you know, the show is not just about breaking addictions, it’s about breaking belief systems and creating a great life. What is a belief around addictions that needs to be broken?

Dawn Ferguson: That w’ere broken, that we’re flawed, that there’s something wrong with us. There’s a difference between me and the actions that I take. And the actions I take are simply because something’s missing in my life, and I simply don’t know how to get what I need. So, I’m going to go back to what I know. As I said earlier, guilt is good guilt, guilt lets us know when we have violated a value. We feel guilty if we steal from from someone, we feel guilty if we tell a lie, unless it’s your significant others saying, “does this dress make my butt look big?”, okay, that you’re allowed, no guilt there, okay? But so, guilt can actually be good, as long as we have the appropriate values, but shame, we need to break the back of lack in our life. We were born to be magnificent, and there is nothing that we’ve done that can ever take away that light and that brilliance. Even people– I have worked with some offenders that are doing time that have committed some horrific acts, maybe around a drug addiction, and robberies and things like that. And now, they’re on the inside leading groups of men to actually be their very best. The circumstance does not define our destiny. We choose how we’re going to use what we’ve been through.

Powerful Eric: I love what you’re saying, and that we are born to be magnificent. And how can someone who is currently struggling with sex or porn addiction or any addiction for that matter, how can they be magnificent and how can they create a great life?

Dawn Ferguson: Well, they can reach out to us, we always have a no charge consultation where they’re going to walk away with some sort of strategy that they can implement right away for feeling better, and then, we can decide from that phone call whether or not we should move forward. So, typically we say, “do not email on us on any type of addiction, you need to reach out to us direct”, because sometimes emails can be looked at by other people, and then that can just create more shame because, sometimes we might be dealing with someone who’s calling out that they have a challenge for the first time, and we don’t want that email to be read. So, they can reach out to us at 636-699-7791, they can send us a text that just says the word, “consult” to 636-699-7791 and then we’ll get back on, “hey, you know, what time works best for you?”. So, either way, but we recommend picking up the phone, don’t put this in writing because we don’t want to create more problems.

Powerful Eric: Do you have a website that people can learn more about?

Dawn Ferguson: Most definitely, actually, we have a website where you can sign up to get a gifted hypnosis audio, where it can assist you in making some simple upgrades right away and that’s going to be drewdawnferguson.com, so I’ll spell that, D-R-E-W-D-A-W-N, F as in Frank, E-R-G-U-S-O-N.com.

Powerful Eric: So, that’s drewdawnferguson.com. So, check it out. Dawn, this has been awesome. I’m so glad you came on the show. And just, thanks for being here.

Dawn Ferguson: So, I have one question for you now Eric.

Powerful Eric: Okay.

Dawn Ferguson: Okay. What is the one thing, we’ve been talking about beliefs and the behaviors, what’s the one thing that you want your audience to remember today?

Powerful Eric: The message that they are magnificent beings. How did you put it?

Dawn Ferguson: That they are born magnificent.

Powerful Eric: Yes.

Dawn Ferguson: They’ve got a brilliance that they’re supposed to be lighting up the world with, and there’s just some things that they’re doing right now that’s dimming their light.

Powerful Eric: Yeah, they’re born magnificent and then this addiction buries it. So, that’s what I want the listeners to get, that they are magnificent, they’re just buried in this addiction and they can get out.

Dawn Ferguson: Exactly.

Powerful Eric: And whether you believe this or not, it does not change the fact that you are an unlimited, infinitely wise, powerful, eternal creator of reality!

LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE HERE: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/porn-hypnosis/id1454294737?i=1000437781430