Hypnotized by Porn? Break the spell with expert Hypnotist Dawn Ferguson.
Powerful Eric: Greetings powerful people. Welcome to Porn Talk. Porn Talk is not just about breaking addictions, it’s about breaking belief systems. We are bound by self-imposed and societal chains, break the chains and get empowered right now!
Today it is my pleasure to have Dawn Ferguson with us and her husband, Drew Ferguson will be with us next week. Dawn and Drew Ferguson are known as the health, wealth and happiness coaches. They are the founders of Ferguson International, Ferguson and Associates Hypnotherapy and the Next Level Up Association, Dawn and Drew work with women and men to help them transform their relationships with money, time, and their career, so they can experience the success and freedom they’ve always desired. Their expertise and insight has helped thousands of people design a life that reflects their true brilliance and purpose, as coaches, speakers, authors, certified hypnotherapists and workshop leaders, their work has empowered the lives of thousands of people worldwide. Their programs include best-selling products and events such as, how to stop the self-sabotage. Well, we could talk about that one, right?
Dawn Ferguson: Yeah, and that’s as far as you need to go Eric. That’s it right there!
Powerful Eric: Yeah. Well, you also have other programs like three simple steps to success, the health, wealth and happiness tour and many more. And Dawn and Drew are passionate about delivering their message that you can live the life you dream, desire, and design. They believe you living a life of health, wealth and happiness is a part of your spiritual path. So, powerful people, welcome my powerful friend, Dawn Ferguson. Welcome, Dawn.
Dawn Ferguson: Thanks Eric, gosh, we’ve really known each other a long time, haven’t we?
Powerful Eric: Yeah, I think, I was actually thinking about that before the call. It’s been, gosh, probably approaching a decade.
Dawn Ferguson: Yeah. And watch the evolution of both of us, as we move along our path, and your audience has their own evolution of the path that they’re supposed to be walking along. And unfortunately, something has stalled them, it has cut them out, and that’s what you assist them with, right?
Powerful Eric: Exactly.
Dawn Ferguson: They feel like they’re stuck and struggling. So, I have a question for you. How long do you think someone tries to break their pornography addiction before they give up? What do you think it might be? I’m curious.
Powerful Eric: Well, I would answer the question with a question in that, how long would I give– I just I have a five-month-old baby boy. And I would ask myself, “how long would I give my son to learn to walk before I would just say, you know?”.
Dawn Ferguson: Yeah. Just not cut out for it.
Powerful Eric: Just not– maybe you should crawl for the rest of your life. So, obviously, my answer is, you know, there’s that Winston Churchill, or attributed to Winston Churchill, at least, to quote that, “never, never, never, never give up”. And that’s what I would say, to never, ever give up.
Dawn Ferguson: And whether people label it an addiction or a compulsive behavior or a problem, an issue, a challenge, whatever it is, that’s it, is that there’s a part of them that just won’t let go as far as you can do this.
Powerful Eric: Right.
Dawn Ferguson: You can get through to what’s on the other side. At times, we all will say, “Okay, I’m done. It’s not supposed to be, I’m giving up”. And then, maybe a few weeks later, they’re like, “I’m going to try one more time”. And so, speaking to that part of your audience that says, “you know what? let’s look at one more time, you can make progress. We know you can. Let’s do it one more time”.
Powerful Eric: And for those of the audience that are just joining on this podcast and don’t know, I struggled with this for a couple decades. So, I didn’t give up. And that leads me to the question, Dawn, you know, I talked about in the intro, do you really believe a porn addict can live a life of health, wealth and happiness?
Dawn Ferguson: Yes. I believe any type of addict can, whether it’s pornography, whether it’s drugs, whether it’s to food, because there are some substances that can set us up, whether it’s for medications that the doctor prescribed, and they wind up getting abused. But, in the case of pornography, definitely, when we understand what was the ongoing reason was why that person keeps going back to pornography.
Powerful Eric: Yes.
Dawn Ferguson: And then, when you understand, hey, what starts it, that’s going to be individual and unique for each person. But, there’s something that gets triggered that has us, whatever that addiction may be, we’ll go back to that tool, should we say, again and again, to get our needs met. Well–
Powerful Eric: No pun intended.
Dawn Ferguson: No pun intended, okay? Those needs are never going to go away. They’re always going to be there, it’s what we call the core four. They’re always going to be there, we just have to find functional ways to get them met, instead of the way that the brain has said, “let’s use the path of least resistance and do this, even though we know it’s unhealthy. Even though there’s fallout, even though this is hurting people that we care about, let’s just go back to it”. Well, we have to replace, we just can’t get rid of it.
Powerful Eric: Exactly. And I love what you’re saying because a lot of the addiction programs out there are just dealing with the symptom. How many days did you not do the thing?
Dawn Ferguson: And what do you have to do? You have to think about the thing and then not doing the thing, to know how many days you did not do the thing.
Powerful Eric: Right.
Dawn Ferguson: So yeah, there’s a variety of programs and for some people, that’s what they need. They need that focus on the abstinence, but that’s not a fit for everybody.
Powerful Eric: Right. Well, and speaking of other, you know, different tools for different people, tell us a little bit more about yourself, and about how you got involved with hypnotherapy as a tool.
Dawn Ferguson: Yes. I’ve been doing this now 15 years, and I actually had a medical challenge. I knew nothing about hypnosis. I mean, I didn’t even pay attention to the comedy shows that had stage hypnosis, I knew nothing about it. But I had a medical challenge and they were prescribing surgery for it. And boy, I just didn’t– I don’t necessarily want to do something invasive, if there’s another way around it.
Powerful Eric: Right.
Dawn Ferguson: So, I started doing some research and found where Harvard, in their mind body clinic was teaching some of their patients self-hypnosis to manage the symptoms of some diseases.
Powerful Eric: This was through Harvard?
Dawn Ferguson: Yeah. And in fact, Mayo Clinic now utilizes hypnosis with their cancer patients, because they’ve discovered that if a cancer patient has to have surgery, to remove any type of malignancy, utilizing hypnosis, they heal faster, and they need less pain medication. So, I used it, it worked. The doctors told me I didn’t have to have the surgery. And it was like, “Dude, what else can this do?”. And, I started doing some investigating, decided that because of the rapid results with hypnosis, people will experience if it’s a fit for them, they’re going to experience results same day and said, “Wow, yeah, I want to do this and assist others”. So, 15 years ago, I became certified, a couple of years after that, obtained an additional certification as an instructor where I now train others to become hypnotherapists, our last graduating class, had a lay person like me, who was just fascinated with it, and wanted to assist others, but there was also therapists as well as doctors in the class where they wanted to be able to assist people for those same day results. So, that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.
Powerful Eric: Well, let me ask you this. There’s a lot of misconceptions about hypnotherapy and that it can be “whoo-whoo”, and that– what are some of the misconceptions about hypnotherapy? And are there any other words? I understand there’s other words people use for hypnotherapy.
Dawn Ferguson: Yes, the misconceptions is that, it is some sort of mind control, and that you’re going to fall underneath the spell of that person and they’re going to make you do whatever. If that were true, Eric, I would already be rich and retired, okay? Whenever I became certified 15 years ago, I had a house full of teenagers, I tried hypnotizing them to do the housework, the vacuuming, and the dishes. No. So, the mind control as maybe Hollywood has portrayed it, is not existent. Actually, people see us because they are out of control already, and they need to figure out how to take their power back. Because if you think about it, we have been conditioned to turn our power away over to people in authority.
Powerful Eric: Yes.
Dawn Ferguson: You know, when we were little kids, make mom and dad or the babysitter happy by going along with what they did. And then you get into school, and the parents go, “now make the teachers happy”. And, the way you make everybody happy is you have to solve problems, the more problems you solve, the more you get promoted in school. And then you graduate from school, and now you move into corporate. And the more problems you solve, the more you get promoted, of which points, you can’t solve problems anymore. But, the way the mind works, is that there’s a difference between solving problems and designing a life and then living it.
Powerful Eric: Oh, awesome. Oh boy, put that quote on the wall. Can you say that again?
Dawn Ferguson: Yes. That the mind is designed that you can either solve problems, or you can design a life and live it.
Powerful Eric: That’s fantastic.
Dawn Ferguson: And the challenge is with the powerful part of our mind known as the subconscious that handles all of our habits and patterns, it says it will not tolerate a void, if you take out a problem, it has to replace it with something. It’s kind of replace it with another problem.
Powerful Eric: Yeah.
Dawn Ferguson: I’m stressed out. I didn’t get the promotion at work, I didn’t get the raise. And so, what’s going to make me feel better? I’m going to go back to what I know is going to give me instantaneous results, which is going to be the porn. But then, the challenges, because the mines designed to solve problems, it’s going to have to turn what felt good into a problem that needs to be solved.
Powerful Eric: Right.
Dawn Ferguson: Okay, so, misconceptions around hypnosis, it’s mind control, no, actually we show people how their mind works so, they can get back into control. Or can I be hypnotized? This is where it gets interesting, Eric, every time you’re in any type of emotional or feeling state, you’re in a suggestible state. And so, you feel happy, you’re open to suggestion, what will make me feel happier? You’re stressed, you’re in a suggestible state, how can I get away? So, you’re either looking to amplify or avoid. And when we deal with addictions, it’s because there’s something we want to avoid, instead of designing that life and amplifying. So, can you be hypnotized? Well, science says that you go in and out of an alpha brainwave of suggestible state also known as hypnosis, anywhere between 100 and 200 times every single day.
Powerful Eric: Amazing.
Dawn Ferguson: So, now you want to understand when you’re going into those states, what suggestions you’re accepting, and make sure that they’re the ones of living your life by design. So, that’s the major misconceptions, it’s mind control, can I be hypnotized? Will I do anything I don’t want to do? That goes along with the mind control, no, you can only utilize hypnosis to bring somebody out at their best. They’re already at their worst. You asked about–
Powerful Eric: Other words for hypnosis.
Dawn Ferguson: Yeah, meditation is the same brainwave state, if someone’s doing guided imagery, or guided visual visualization, that’s going to be hypnosis. Meditation in its true form, is not hypnosis. Hypnosis looks to make transformations, change is not enough, let’s go for the transformation. Meditation looks to quiet the mind. So, people go, “oh, Eric, I had a wonderful meditation where they took us through the woods, and there was a beautiful babbling brook”. And it’s like, “no, that’s hypnosis”, there’s guided imagery or visualization to it. It is using that symbolism to effect some sort of upgrade. If it is just quieting the mind, that is going to be true meditation. Did that answer your question?
Powerful Eric: Yes, it did. And, actually answered my next question, really, which was, you know, mindfulness is a really big catch word right now. I was going to ask; would you say hypnosis is being mindful? But, obviously, you answered that.
Dawn Ferguson: It can assist people in being mindful, that when they find that they’re being pulled out of the present into the past, “Hey, I am stressed, I’m aggravated, I got hurt, I got rejected, I’ve been abandoned”. And, they pull themselves out of the present moment into the past and say, “this is how I’ve handled it before. I’ve used porn for that quick release to have me feel a little bit better, even short term”. They’re no longer being mindful, mindful is staying in the moment and then saying, “Okay, how can we actually utilize what we’re experiencing to bring ourselves out at our best? Instead of going into the past, and using those old, unwanted, unneeded habits and patterns”, so, it can assist with mindfulness.
Powerful Eric: Okay. Well, have you ever witnessed any miracles in your 15 years of doing this, any miracles using hypnotherapy?
Dawn Ferguson: And I have to be very careful using the term miracles, because there is a branch of science and health care that says use the word miracle, you’ll get a cease and desist letter.
Powerful Eric: And cure too, they don’t like the word cure.
Dawn Ferguson: No, not at all. Have there been some rabid identity upgrades? Yes, to where someone who wasn’t able to function in his intimate relationship unless there was porn involved, it had gotten to the point that he could no longer engage with her, unless that was involved.
Powerful Eric: Yeah. That’s very common.
Dawn Ferguson: Yes, it is. And the wedding actually got cut off– called off, the upcoming wedding, the engagement was broken off. She was like, “I can no longer deal with this”, and one session, giving him a tool that he could use to bring himself out in who he wanted to be in that relationship with her, not who he was just to cope short-term using the porn, but who he really wanted to be, and what we call the core four, the for emotional needs. Yeah, the wedding got called back on after just one session.
Powerful Eric: One session?
Dawn Ferguson: Now, that doesn’t happen for everybody and I, whenever I work with anybody who has a behavior that they could label addictive, because I don’t label it, they do.
Powerful Eric: Right.
Dawn Ferguson: I tell them, “you’re going to get results from your very first session. And maybe that’s all you need. If you need additional, it’s going to be up to you”, because it’s all about transfer of power and authority. They’ve been stripped emotionally of what they need to bring themselves out of their best. They don’t need another person telling them, “well, it’s going to take this many sessions and you need this package”. No, it’s time for them to start experiencing the control that they’ve been looking for.
Powerful Eric: Yes, and using the word addiction, that’s just the word I use because people know it. But, there’s a big debate, or a huge debate about, is it sex addiction? Or, is it just a bad habit? Or, is it– I think the word they’re using right now is being hyper sexual. But to me, it’s almost irrelevant on what we call it. The question is, is it negatively impacting your life?
Dawn Ferguson: And, there’s a reason, I’m glad you brought that up, and that you do call it addiction because a lot of people, that’s how they’re going to identify. And so, we do need a label, we do need something to call it. If you look at the psychological studies of people who have some sort of medical condition, and the doctors can’t figure out what’s wrong with them and it keeps getting worse and worse and worse, or symptoms get worse and worse. And then, they finally find a doctor who says, “Oh, I know what’s wrong with you. And we’re going to give it this diagnosis”. For approximately 72 hours after that diagnosis, they do feel better, because we have to have a way to identify and label it. And so, if they’re going to call it an addiction, that actually assists them, in being able to already start the healing process to get to the other side, or the hyper sexual, whatever it might be. I always tell my clients, “I’m going to go by the label that they’ve decided, it’s not up to me to tell them what they’ve got going on”. But, they do need to pick a label. Because, once we have a label, then we can say, “what’s on the other side of that label?”. Because an addict is an addict. I don’t care if you’re addicted to something that is holding you back in life, or if you’re addicted to bringing yourself out at your best. Addiction is addiction. Let’s just keep going in the right direction.
Powerful Eric: Right. Well, and that brings me to 12-step programs and many therapists and those in the medical field, say that you have a disease like, we’ll talk about alcoholism, for example. You have a disease and you have it for life. Do you think a sex or porn addict has a disease?
Dawn Ferguson: I don’t know that I would call it a disease. And this is the reason why, by the way, just my own personal story. I have not had a drink now in 18 years. Because I was an alcoholic, is this a disease I have? Not necessarily, it is a coping mechanism that does not work for me.
Powerful Eric: Yes! I love the way you said that. Yes.
Dawn Ferguson: Okay, so, I stay, if you don’t want to slip, just stay out of slippery places and don’t go hang out in bars. Do not use the alcohol, I found other ways to bring myself out at my best, or to relax myself, whatever it might be. Disease, that’s really interesting, Eric that you brought that up. Medical science tells us that we can study a disease to learn how to treat it. But, we can’t help that patient get healthy. The only way you can help somebody get healthy is by studying healthy people. And then saying, “Well, what are they doing that you’re not? Let’s get you doing that”. So, treating something like cancer is going to be much different than so saying, “okay, what is it that we need to do to give your body everything it needs to be as healthy as possible?”. Some people if they need that label, that they have a disease and they’re going to have it for life, if that helps them stay clean, I’m all for it. But, that isn’t necessarily helping them because there’s something known as being a dry drunk, I don’t know about, what the term might be in pornography to where you’re no longer using it. But, it doesn’t mean your life is any better, you may still be a complete asshole like you were before.
Powerful Eric: That’s funny. So, the program has a little mascot. And, he’s basically, he’s a little wiener with arms, and he’s looking, he’s got a smartphone, and he’s obsessively looking at his smartphone and I got a promotion going on right now, that you can name the mascot and one of the names that I got, and I love and might be the winner, we’ll see. He named him Raging Richard. And then–
Dawn Ferguson: That’s good.
Powerful Eric: Raging Richard, don’t be a dick.
Dawn Ferguson: I did not pick up that when you want to name him Richard. Oh, I love that play on words, I think you’ve got your winner right there. I think you’ve got your wiener winner.
Powerful Eric: That’s awesome.
Dawn Ferguson: So, yeah, if someone needs to say that they’ve got a disease, because that’s going to assist them, hey, I’m going to go with that label. But again, is it going to help you be healthier? That’s what we want to look at, not just stopping the dysfunction, but what’s on the other side of the dysfunction?
Powerful Eric: Yes, and, that’s the reason why I do this show because I feel like most of the addiction programs out there are not doing that.
Dawn Ferguson: No, they treat the addiction. They don’t bring the person out at the very best. Okay, can I jump in real quick with what’s known as the core four?
Powerful Eric: Of course.
Dawn Ferguson: Okay, core four. Core four basically says that we have for emotional needs. The first one is for certainty, we need to have certain things that we can count on. Because when we get stressed, when life begins to fall apart, those are going to be the actions that soothes us. But you know, if life is too soothing, it gets real boring. So, the one up from that is variety. We need a lot of different experiences coming our way, if we get bored. This is you know, and social media knows this. This is the reason why they come at you with so many different images, because they’re hooking you with that variety. Then after variety, you’re going, “Hey, pay attention to me”, and so you have a level of worthiness, “I’m important, I matter”, and then after that, validation. Validation shows up a couple of different ways, love, but if we can’t get the love that we’re looking for, we’ll settle for just connection. If we do something, and it meets just one of those needs, we’ll probably never do it again, if we do something and it meets two of those needs, we’ll go back to it occasionally, if it meets three of those needs, yeah, it’s compulsive behavior. If it’s meeting all four, we’ll engage in it again and again and again. If we think about porn, we’re certain that it’s going to get us relief.
Powerful Eric: Right.
Dawn Ferguson: A lot of variety with it.
Powerful Eric: Importance, I matter, maybe out in the regular world I got rejected by somebody, someone else didn’t come through for me, but hey, what I got on this screen in front of me right now, they’re making me feel like I matter. No pun intended, no, pun intended, they make me feel like a big shot, money shot, okay? And then, after that, we’re craving love, but we feel like we can’t get it, there’s so much shame and guilt over what we just did. So, we’ll settle for the connection, and we’ll settle for the connection of going back to it again and again.
Powerful Eric: Right. And that variety, you’re so dead on. The research that I’ve done into this, is that, that is one of the huge reasons why people get addicted to porn, because your brain is always looking for mates, you’re looking for a mate. And the screen shows, “Oh, here’s a new mate”. And then the screen, you go to another screen, “here’s a new mate, here’s a new mate, here’s a new mate”, and so it never ends.
Dawn Ferguson: Right. But that the way those core four show up, that can lead us into having challenges, are the same way that they can show up to help us get to what’s on the other side. So, we learn what is it that we need to have in our lives to be certain whenever we feel stressed out. How can we get a variety of experiences, without having to tune into something digital? That worthiness that we do matter and finding those important relationships, which is one of the reasons why 12-step groups can assist people long-term because they’re developing those relationships. It’s just not necessarily relationships that are going to bring them out of their healthiest and then, learning to experience the love that we have for ourselves. That guilt is good. Guilt says, you violated a value, shame, never helped anyone because shame says there’s something wrong with us.
Powerful Eric: Yeah. In my 20 years, in virtually, every 12-step program you can imagine, I’ve been in. That was, by far the best part, was the fellowship that was developed there, that would, in my opinion, is the biggest, best part of 12-step programs. Ultimately, it really did not work for me, and I found mindfulness and other things. But, that is definitely, if you’re going to stay in a 12-step program that, in my opinion would be the biggest reason why, the fellowship that’s developed.
Dawn Ferguson: And, I was working with a woman that was having a challenge in this area. She led a company where she was in a male dominated field and, to be accepted in that field, she had to be seen as one of the guys and so, going out, drinking and, she took that identity pretty serious, that masculine identity. And so, just like a guy can start looking at porn, she did also. I’m not saying women who look at porn and have challenges with it, have a masculine identity, but because of the field she was in, it led to more masculine problems. When we were working together, that’s one of the things that she was missing, Eric, was the support system. And so, it was, “don’t go out looking for the other guys. I want you to start getting engaged and start engaging in activities outside of your work, where other women are and start looking at developing friendships there”. It only took her a few months of doing that and saying who might want to go to the movies or go out for lunch or dinner, and as she did that, she needed less and less of the porn until it was no longer needed in her life. So, for her, it was the addiction. But, it was because she was missing that support system.
Powerful Eric: Right. Well, we’ve been talking– obviously, this is a serious top topic here. Let’s take a step back. Do you have any interesting or crazy stories about people you work with or your personal life? Something like that?
Dawn Ferguson: Well, you know, utilizing hypnosis, you never know what’s going to show up because we use something that’s known as parts therapy for inner conflict resolution.
Powerful Eric: Okay.
Dawn Ferguson: And, it basically says we have all these different parts to us. So, for example, Eric, when, how old is your baby now?
Powerful Eric: Actually, he’s coming up on six months, actually.
Dawn Ferguson: Oh, six months. So, when you’re with him, you’re the nurturing daddy that a six-month-old needs.
Powerful Eric: Right.
Dawn Ferguson: That is not the part of your personality that comes out when you’re in an intimate moment with your partner, okay? It’s also not the part of your personality that comes out whenever you’re doing the podcast, right? So, we all have these different aspects to ourselves, we have a challenge when those aspects get into a disagreement, okay?
Powerful Eric: Okay.
Dawn Ferguson: And so, working with a woman who was having a challenge with how she was eating sticks of butter, okay?
Powerful Eric: Sticks of butter.
Dawn Ferguson: Sticks of butter, and she would eat in a way where it was very public, and people would point and laugh at her.
Powerful Eric: Oh boy.
Dawn Ferguson: And you’re like, “what sane individual would do this?”. Well, it’s not whether or not we’re sane, it’s what part of her personality learn that coping mechanism.
Powerful Eric: Yeah.
Dawn Ferguson: So, hypnotizing her and asking her to go back to the time when her mind first decided she should eat sticks of butter. She was like three or four, big family, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins would come over every Sunday for dinner. She was the youngest in the family, got completely overlooked, and she learned one day, she got out of her chair and she started running around the table, and the people were stopping and hollering at her. And she reached up, there was a stick of butter right there, she reached up, she grabbed it, and she shoved the entire thing in her mouth. Now, when you have a three-year-old do that, people are going to laugh at you, right?
Powerful Eric: Yeah.
Dawn Ferguson: She learned at three years old to get attention, to eat inappropriately in a way where people could see it and laugh.
Powerful Eric: Oh my gosh.
Dawn Ferguson: Okay. For her, it was a great relief, for me, I’m going because she’s interacting with me why she’s in a hypnotic state, as well as the three-year-old that we brought out. And I’m like, “you cannot make this stuff up”.
Powerful Eric: Eating an entire stick of butter. Oh.
Dawn Ferguson: But, that’s how you get attention, right?
Powerful Eric: Yeah.
Dawn Ferguson: And for the three-year-old, people laughed at her in a way that was humorous. Now as an adult, people are shaming her, the three-year-old didn’t understand that. So, it was like, okay, the very creative part of her mind, finding other ways that she could bring joy to somebody’s life, she wounds up signing up for improv comedy classes, and learning to do that. And when she did that, she no longer needed to eat in a way where people pointed and laughed at her. Now, she’s bringing in joy through her stand-up comedy routines.
Powerful Eric: That’s incredible. That’s awesome. That’s a great story.
Dawn Ferguson: It is, but we never know what potential was locked inside of us, we started taking actions, because there was something we needed. But, those actions as time went on turned dysfunctional. Well, the need is still there, let’s just find a way to bring you out at your best. Now, one other quick story. One of the techniques we use is something called the bus, we hypnotize someone, and when I say we, it’s either myself or my partner Drew. And we ask them to imagine that there’s a bus that they’re on with all these other people and that one of the people slides in next to the seat that they’re in, and it’s the part of their personality that’s having the problem. And now, they can have a dialogue or conversation with that part of them. So, there was one guy that I’m like, “okay, you’re on the bus”, and he’s like, “No, I’m not”. I’m like, “okay, really, why? Let’s go on”, and he didn’t go on, and he said, “the bus is full of everybody having a really good time. And it’s– I’m at the bus stop, but the doors are closed, and they won’t let me on”. And I’m like, “okay, who told you that you had to be shut out of life?”. And he had been through a trauma when he was a young adult. And he felt like he had to shut everything off, feeling any of those emotions, shut it all off, so, he wouldn’t be traumatized by it again. And yet, and that’s what the bus represented, but yet, actually getting on the bus was also the fun aspects of him. So, when he shut off the trauma, he shut off everything. And so, we actually had to convince the bus driver to let him on the bus. So…
Powerful Eric: Right.
Dawn Ferguson: That’s a couple of stories using parts therapy and hypnosis.
Powerful Eric: Yeah. Well, how can hypnosis help a sex or porn addict?
Dawn Ferguson: That’s a good question. Well, let me ask you this, Eric, why did you decide, we’ve been friends for a long time, you know, we enjoy going out for our lunches, I’m looking forward to the next one. Why did you think, knowing the small amount you did about hypnosis, why did you think that this might be something where Drew or I needed to be on here?
Powerful Eric: Well, mindfulness is a big part of the program that we put guys through that are addicted to sex and porn. And I knew that hypnosis fell under that umbrella, but I wasn’t exactly sure where.
Dawn Ferguson: Okay, so, when you’re dealing with mindfulness, what I love about that aspect is it works with the entire identity, mentally, emotionally and physically. To be mindful, you have to be able to keep your focus, you have to understand the emotions that are coming through, and then the actions that you take physically are going to be the ones to stay in that state of mindfulness. To be able to maintain it. Most people know of hypnosis for behavioral modification, that bottom level, “hey, I used to smoke, and I used hypnosis and I’m a healthy non-smoker, or I reduced my weight”, whatever it might be. Hypnosis is excellent for behavioral modification, as far as stopping something, and then finding a replacement for it that’s healthy. But, then it goes along with what you’re doing. Because for me, that’s not enough. Then there’s the emotional optimization, the emotions that run through us, we’re not going to get rid of them. So, what are we going to do with it? So, hypnosis can take that stress that overwhelm, that fear and actually turn it into extra energy to bring ourselves out at our best. And then, mentally, we’re dealing with some beliefs that we may not be aware that are there, which is what I was talking about, just a little bit ago, with the butter, that was a belief. People need to point and laugh at me when I eat, I need to bring joy to somebody’s life that way. So, hypnosis can work with uncovering what the beliefs are, and then not getting rid of them, but actually upgrading them just like we did with our comedian who’s doing her stand-up now. So, that’s how hypnosis can assist someone to upgrade their identity.
Powerful Eric: Okay, and you kind of answered this with your answer just now, but what do you think guys that are still acting out compulsive sex or porn, need to know?
Dawn Ferguson: That, number one, the mind will not tolerate a void. So, what do you want to replace it with? You just can’t say, “stop doing that”. So, what do you want to replace it with that is going to assist you with the emotions that you’re experiencing right now? Then, the second thing would be, putting together a plan of when you get triggered, what are you going to do when the triggers show up? Because they aren’t going away.
Powerful Eric: Right.
Dawn Ferguson: And then the final thing is, it takes 91 days for what’s known as an identity upgrade. This means, not that you’re 91 days clean. It means that 91 days, you continuously say, “I’m going to get to the other side. I’m going to move past this. I’m going to bring myself out at my best”. And you do that for three months, you’ve activated it in an area of your brain where now you’re moving into leadership, leading yourself instead of being controlled by painful past.
Powerful Eric: Love it. Dawn, as you know, the show is not just about breaking addictions, it’s about breaking belief systems and creating a great life. What is a belief around addictions that needs to be broken?
Dawn Ferguson: That w’ere broken, that we’re flawed, that there’s something wrong with us. There’s a difference between me and the actions that I take. And the actions I take are simply because something’s missing in my life, and I simply don’t know how to get what I need. So, I’m going to go back to what I know. As I said earlier, guilt is good guilt, guilt lets us know when we have violated a value. We feel guilty if we steal from from someone, we feel guilty if we tell a lie, unless it’s your significant others saying, “does this dress make my butt look big?”, okay, that you’re allowed, no guilt there, okay? But so, guilt can actually be good, as long as we have the appropriate values, but shame, we need to break the back of lack in our life. We were born to be magnificent, and there is nothing that we’ve done that can ever take away that light and that brilliance. Even people– I have worked with some offenders that are doing time that have committed some horrific acts, maybe around a drug addiction, and robberies and things like that. And now, they’re on the inside leading groups of men to actually be their very best. The circumstance does not define our destiny. We choose how we’re going to use what we’ve been through.
Powerful Eric: I love what you’re saying, and that we are born to be magnificent. And how can someone who is currently struggling with sex or porn addiction or any addiction for that matter, how can they be magnificent and how can they create a great life?
Dawn Ferguson: Well, they can reach out to us, we always have a no charge consultation where they’re going to walk away with some sort of strategy that they can implement right away for feeling better, and then, we can decide from that phone call whether or not we should move forward. So, typically we say, “do not email on us on any type of addiction, you need to reach out to us direct”, because sometimes emails can be looked at by other people, and then that can just create more shame because, sometimes we might be dealing with someone who’s calling out that they have a challenge for the first time, and we don’t want that email to be read. So, they can reach out to us at 636-699-7791, they can send us a text that just says the word, “consult” to 636-699-7791 and then we’ll get back on, “hey, you know, what time works best for you?”. So, either way, but we recommend picking up the phone, don’t put this in writing because we don’t want to create more problems.
Powerful Eric: Do you have a website that people can learn more about?
Dawn Ferguson: Most definitely, actually, we have a website where you can sign up to get a gifted hypnosis audio, where it can assist you in making some simple upgrades right away and that’s going to be drewdawnferguson.com, so I’ll spell that, D-R-E-W-D-A-W-N, F as in Frank, E-R-G-U-S-O-N.com.
Powerful Eric: So, that’s drewdawnferguson.com. So, check it out. Dawn, this has been awesome. I’m so glad you came on the show. And just, thanks for being here.
Dawn Ferguson: So, I have one question for you now Eric.
Powerful Eric: Okay.
Dawn Ferguson: Okay. What is the one thing, we’ve been talking about beliefs and the behaviors, what’s the one thing that you want your audience to remember today?
Powerful Eric: The message that they are magnificent beings. How did you put it?
Dawn Ferguson: That they are born magnificent.
Powerful Eric: Yes.
Dawn Ferguson: They’ve got a brilliance that they’re supposed to be lighting up the world with, and there’s just some things that they’re doing right now that’s dimming their light.
Powerful Eric: Yeah, they’re born magnificent and then this addiction buries it. So, that’s what I want the listeners to get, that they are magnificent, they’re just buried in this addiction and they can get out.
Dawn Ferguson: Exactly.
Powerful Eric: And whether you believe this or not, it does not change the fact that you are an unlimited, infinitely wise, powerful, eternal creator of reality!